Tough Times

I've always found expressions humorous. "Hold your horses!" Horses? I don't have any horses.

Well I "slept like a log" last night. Slept like a log? Well I did.

I'm typically up before 5 a.m. and I'm typically the first one awake, which means I get to make coffee and feed Freckles. But this morning Barb was actually up first at 6 a.m., and I stumbled down the stairs shortly after all sleepy-eyed.

I'm moving through my transition from steroid use, to no steroid use. As my Mom kindly reminded me yesterday, "Your body is addicted to a drug, and it's going to take more than three days to break that addiction."

It's true. The steroid is very addictive, the body becomes dependent upon it. But this morning I am beginning to feel like I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel (keeping fingers crossed).

I felt pretty crappy yesterday morning. I really, really wanted to visit my Dad at the hospital. But I couldn't pull it off the way I was feeling. My Mom was very understanding about it, much kinder on me than I am on myself.

It's a tough time. Between my transition period getting off of the steroid, and everything my Dad is going through at the hospital with his injuries, it's been tough.

My Mom and I do discuss how my Dad is doing at the end of every day. Yesterday apparantly was a tough day. Like everything in life, there were highs and lows. The nurses were able to get him up and my Dad did use the walker like a pro to make his way over to a chair. Although he is not feeding himself at all, and completely skipped lunch, he did eat most of his dinner with my Mom's help.

We're definitely worried about the status of his mind. He seems to be more lost and confused than ever. Yesterday he insisted that he had to get out of the hospital because he had a hair cut appointment. But there are bright spots too when his recognition of things around him is on target.

I guess the biggest single event yesterday would have been my Mom's discussion with his doctor. She asked the doctor point blank whether she would be able to take her husband home ever again? The doctor answered that he really didn't know. For the time being my Mom and the medical staff are going to look for a transitional home for my Dad in a rehabilitation/care facility.

It brings up a lot of thoughts and concerns for the future. I assured my Mom we'll work on it day by day, and we'll do it together. And we will.