Not much going on, which to me is a good thing. We're just enjoying the few birds who are showing up in the yard, and some of the early buds on a couple of trees. It won't be long. I can feel it.
We're staying busy with the house. We're making some real progress with the front room. Barb called it a "seafoam green." I didn't like the sound of that. She quickly changed it to a "light sage," and now I'm board.
Tried my hand at faux finishing the bottom half of the wall yesterday, beneath the chair rail. After a disappointing first coat attempt, I pulled things together somehow on a second coat attempt. (shrugging shoulders) It's not bad.
We're back at it today. Just enjoying the peace, staying active, eating well, exercising and living our lives with big smiles.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Going At It
Woke up around 11:30 p.m. last evening. Barb was in the middle of a full-out assault of my side of the bed. I tried to get back to sleep. But by 1:30 a.m. I gave up, snuck downstairs and took a sleeping pill, and next thing you know I was out until morning.
It wasn't Barb's assault on my side of the bed that kept me awake though. It was just one of those things.
I hit the ground running this morning though, still half of a zombie from the sleep medication, but running nonetheless. I jumped back into the painting and we're making some real progress. It's looking clean and fresh and as new as a 200-year old house can look. We're both pretty motivated to move things along.
I hope to get the painting in good shape by Easter, which we've been holding here for the past few years. Plus we need to find the appropriate time to have the central air installed. Goodbye to the five window air conditioners! Man those things are heavy, cumbersome, and loud.
I can't wait for Spring to see the trees and plants all come back to life. Everything seems to grow great in our yard except for grass. I'm hoping to spend a little more time playing in the dirt this Spring than I was able to last year. We shall see.
Barb and I are still planning an Albert Design Studio "corporate retreat" this Spring at the Hotel Hershey to discuss what we're going to do with the bailout money that we won't be receiving.
We are sincerely planning on spending a couple of nights there through one of their mid-week specials. The Hotel Hershey is just one of those special places that everyone in this area should experience at some point. I've eaten in the circular dining room many times, but have always wanted to actually be a guest at the hotel and never have been.
We're going to pamper ourselves a little. I'll order room-service a take a nap. Barb will hit the spa. I know they have a bocce ball court behind the hotel...so game on!
Anyone want to watch Freckles for a couple of days? Ugh. Last time we left him alone for a couple of days he ruined a large rug.
Feeling strong, keeping positive, and looking forward to hearing the voice of Harry Kalas, the broadcaster of the Philadelphia Phillies. To me, the voice of Harry Kalas is like seeing the first robin of Spring.
We did learn today that my Gamma Knife treatment will be on March 18th. But we are still waiting on a time, likely very early in the morning.
After a day of working on the house, I've got to get into the kitchen and cook a little birthday dinner for our son-in-law Charlie - filet with a little red wine reduction, hash browns, and a fresh salad.
After years of refusing to try cheese cake because he thought it was made with American cheese, Charlie is now a full-fledged cheese cake afficiando. He just had to try it that first time.
After breaking that barrier we're hoping to have the same effect on him eventually with vegetables.
It wasn't Barb's assault on my side of the bed that kept me awake though. It was just one of those things.
I hit the ground running this morning though, still half of a zombie from the sleep medication, but running nonetheless. I jumped back into the painting and we're making some real progress. It's looking clean and fresh and as new as a 200-year old house can look. We're both pretty motivated to move things along.
I hope to get the painting in good shape by Easter, which we've been holding here for the past few years. Plus we need to find the appropriate time to have the central air installed. Goodbye to the five window air conditioners! Man those things are heavy, cumbersome, and loud.
I can't wait for Spring to see the trees and plants all come back to life. Everything seems to grow great in our yard except for grass. I'm hoping to spend a little more time playing in the dirt this Spring than I was able to last year. We shall see.
Barb and I are still planning an Albert Design Studio "corporate retreat" this Spring at the Hotel Hershey to discuss what we're going to do with the bailout money that we won't be receiving.
We are sincerely planning on spending a couple of nights there through one of their mid-week specials. The Hotel Hershey is just one of those special places that everyone in this area should experience at some point. I've eaten in the circular dining room many times, but have always wanted to actually be a guest at the hotel and never have been.
We're going to pamper ourselves a little. I'll order room-service a take a nap. Barb will hit the spa. I know they have a bocce ball court behind the hotel...so game on!
Anyone want to watch Freckles for a couple of days? Ugh. Last time we left him alone for a couple of days he ruined a large rug.
Feeling strong, keeping positive, and looking forward to hearing the voice of Harry Kalas, the broadcaster of the Philadelphia Phillies. To me, the voice of Harry Kalas is like seeing the first robin of Spring.
We did learn today that my Gamma Knife treatment will be on March 18th. But we are still waiting on a time, likely very early in the morning.
After a day of working on the house, I've got to get into the kitchen and cook a little birthday dinner for our son-in-law Charlie - filet with a little red wine reduction, hash browns, and a fresh salad.
After years of refusing to try cheese cake because he thought it was made with American cheese, Charlie is now a full-fledged cheese cake afficiando. He just had to try it that first time.
After breaking that barrier we're hoping to have the same effect on him eventually with vegetables.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Visit with the Brain Doc
Yesterday Barb and I met with my neurosurgeon who confirmed pretty much everything we learned on Friday from the radiologist's report on my brain MRI.
The one tumor in the brain treated just over six-weeks ago has disappeared completely. There are, however, three new small tumors in the brain. All are very small, one is two millimeters in size and two are one millimeter in size.
The neurosurgeon is going to try to get me in for my third round of Gamma Knife radiation treatments next week.
Whew. This will be the fourth round of radiation blasts to my head - whole brain radiation once, and three Gamma Knife radiation treatments.
Though I thought I've been feelings symptoms of brain swelling, the neurosurgeon did not think that there was much evidence of brain swelling on my scans. He recommended staying on the steroid for now as I enter into the Gamma Knife procedure. But he also recommended getting off the steroid afterwords as quickly as possible.
It's a strong steroid and the body builds up a dependence upon it. Pulling off the steroid will mean a weaning off of it, followed by a couple days of feeling miserable when I finally come off of it in full.
So what would explain my occasional lack of balance and foggy feelings in the head? Well the doctor thought it could just be the stiff right upper cut that radiation throws at a person. Radiation is silent and invisible, but it wallops quite a punch.
I asked about permanent damage to the brain, and he said that is always possible too. Although, he added, we've caught everything so far while it has been at a very small size.
The one thing that did surprise me was that he said that whole brain radiation was a possibility a second time. I had been told previously that whole brain radiation was a once and done deal because of the potential of serious damage to the brain. When I mentioned that to him, he pulled back from the idea of doing the whole brain, but he still held on to the idea in general.
I'm sure there are those who would argue that I was brain damaged before any of this started. LOL
It's back to painting again today. The more active I stay the better I feel and the less I think about the cancer. Plus we want to have central air installed this Spring and I have to get my painting mess cleaned up before the a/c guys come in and create their own mess.
But first it's off to exercise and hit the shower.
The one tumor in the brain treated just over six-weeks ago has disappeared completely. There are, however, three new small tumors in the brain. All are very small, one is two millimeters in size and two are one millimeter in size.
The neurosurgeon is going to try to get me in for my third round of Gamma Knife radiation treatments next week.
Whew. This will be the fourth round of radiation blasts to my head - whole brain radiation once, and three Gamma Knife radiation treatments.
Though I thought I've been feelings symptoms of brain swelling, the neurosurgeon did not think that there was much evidence of brain swelling on my scans. He recommended staying on the steroid for now as I enter into the Gamma Knife procedure. But he also recommended getting off the steroid afterwords as quickly as possible.
It's a strong steroid and the body builds up a dependence upon it. Pulling off the steroid will mean a weaning off of it, followed by a couple days of feeling miserable when I finally come off of it in full.
So what would explain my occasional lack of balance and foggy feelings in the head? Well the doctor thought it could just be the stiff right upper cut that radiation throws at a person. Radiation is silent and invisible, but it wallops quite a punch.
I asked about permanent damage to the brain, and he said that is always possible too. Although, he added, we've caught everything so far while it has been at a very small size.
The one thing that did surprise me was that he said that whole brain radiation was a possibility a second time. I had been told previously that whole brain radiation was a once and done deal because of the potential of serious damage to the brain. When I mentioned that to him, he pulled back from the idea of doing the whole brain, but he still held on to the idea in general.
I'm sure there are those who would argue that I was brain damaged before any of this started. LOL
It's back to painting again today. The more active I stay the better I feel and the less I think about the cancer. Plus we want to have central air installed this Spring and I have to get my painting mess cleaned up before the a/c guys come in and create their own mess.
But first it's off to exercise and hit the shower.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
How Busy Are You?
My church in Myerstown kindly has been sending me literature from every Sunday service, including the pastor's sermon.
This past week he wrote about one of the ten commandments - "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy."
So much for that huh?
It's long been my argument that our society has developed ideals that promote ignoring that commandment.
I've worked my share of 60-hour weeks. It's not that I enjoy it, or agree with it. But often times I've had no choice. Once I worked 12-hours a day, seven days a week, for nearly two months to get a product catalog to press before a trade show. It didn't have to be that way. But the owner of the company didn't see any problems with that kind of work schedule and I was backed into a corner.
I ended up finishing the catalog, and leaving work in the middle of the day one day to visit the doctor about exhaustion and stress. The doctor's recommendation? "I'd quit your job," he said.
There are cultures who appreciate rest, time for worship and spirituality, time for contemplation. But that's not our culture.
Somehow through the decades we've pushed and pushed and pushed the ideals of work, work, work. The only countries that may work more hours than us are all Asian countries.
Work is an important component to a healthy life. But how much work? All work and no play, I'm convinced, does not equal a healthy lifestyle.
Sometimes we have to slow down, sit down, and just watch the clouds go by. Yet how many of us slow down enough to actually do that?
I always remember a lesson I learned from boating with my Uncle at his then home in Virginia. He had all kinds of boats, a sail boat, motor boats, canoes.
When we took a boat out with a motor we missed a lot. We would move to fast and the motor would scare all the wildlife away.
But when I took the canoe out and paddled along the inlet's edge I could see and enjoy so much more. There were herons and osprey, all kinds of wildlife and natural surroundings that I never could have enjoyed any other way.
I learned the same lesson when I started riding bike every day. There was so much around Marietta that I never saw driving around in the car. But on the bike I learned much more about the town I live in.
We truly do need to see the value of rest and reflection. I feel sometimes that Americans act like they have it all figured out, that we can't learn anything from other countries because we are the best.
Well, we've got a great country, with strong ideals, but that will never mean that we do not have room for improvement, room to keep learning and growing as a society and a culture.
This past week he wrote about one of the ten commandments - "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy."
So much for that huh?
It's long been my argument that our society has developed ideals that promote ignoring that commandment.
I've worked my share of 60-hour weeks. It's not that I enjoy it, or agree with it. But often times I've had no choice. Once I worked 12-hours a day, seven days a week, for nearly two months to get a product catalog to press before a trade show. It didn't have to be that way. But the owner of the company didn't see any problems with that kind of work schedule and I was backed into a corner.
I ended up finishing the catalog, and leaving work in the middle of the day one day to visit the doctor about exhaustion and stress. The doctor's recommendation? "I'd quit your job," he said.
There are cultures who appreciate rest, time for worship and spirituality, time for contemplation. But that's not our culture.
Somehow through the decades we've pushed and pushed and pushed the ideals of work, work, work. The only countries that may work more hours than us are all Asian countries.
Work is an important component to a healthy life. But how much work? All work and no play, I'm convinced, does not equal a healthy lifestyle.
Sometimes we have to slow down, sit down, and just watch the clouds go by. Yet how many of us slow down enough to actually do that?
I always remember a lesson I learned from boating with my Uncle at his then home in Virginia. He had all kinds of boats, a sail boat, motor boats, canoes.
When we took a boat out with a motor we missed a lot. We would move to fast and the motor would scare all the wildlife away.
But when I took the canoe out and paddled along the inlet's edge I could see and enjoy so much more. There were herons and osprey, all kinds of wildlife and natural surroundings that I never could have enjoyed any other way.
I learned the same lesson when I started riding bike every day. There was so much around Marietta that I never saw driving around in the car. But on the bike I learned much more about the town I live in.
We truly do need to see the value of rest and reflection. I feel sometimes that Americans act like they have it all figured out, that we can't learn anything from other countries because we are the best.
Well, we've got a great country, with strong ideals, but that will never mean that we do not have room for improvement, room to keep learning and growing as a society and a culture.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday Monday
Well there's nothing like a whole roasted chicken and my wife's incredible mashed potatoes to make a Sunday dinner something special.
But it's Monday, and it's cold, cold, cold outside. It's time to get back into action after a relaxing day yesterday.
We're planning on heading out and getting our paint for the living room, now that the primer is all up. I'll tell 'ya, it's not easy covering up a dark green.
But that's why we're painting. Our living room does not get a lot of sunlight, and combine that with dark green walls, and that room is like a cave.
This is all a long time overdue. But, what can I say, we've been a little busy.
Even if we just left the primer up and never painted over it, it would still be a big improvement. But, no worries, we're definitely going in for the finishing touches.
After the two front living rooms are done (we haven't even started with the priming of the second living area), then we'll just have the kitchen, the sunroom, and the master bedroom yet. Then we'll have painted the entire interior of the house.
When we first moved in I started with painting the exterior of the house, quite a job. That is basically done. We have one weird stretch between our house and the neighbors that I've been considering replacing the wood siding with composite siding. I wouldn't consider composite materials for the rest of the house because of the homes historic nature, all the siding is cedar. Our block is on the National Register of Historic Places. Unfortunately several buildings on the block are not being very well taken care of, and there is some fantastic architectural elements that are just rotting away.
Well I slept until 5:30 a.m. this morning, until Freckles jumped up on the bed between Barb and I and let out a loud "Meow," which roughly translated means "What the heck! You're usually up and feeding me by now!"
Actually he woke me up at 3:30 a.m. too by pushing the closet door back and forth to make a rapping sound. But I gave him a mean look and he went away.
I have an appointment with the neurosurgeon tomorrow. Hopefully we'll learn more information on how to proceed with treatments from there.
Have a great start to the week everyone.
But it's Monday, and it's cold, cold, cold outside. It's time to get back into action after a relaxing day yesterday.
We're planning on heading out and getting our paint for the living room, now that the primer is all up. I'll tell 'ya, it's not easy covering up a dark green.
But that's why we're painting. Our living room does not get a lot of sunlight, and combine that with dark green walls, and that room is like a cave.
This is all a long time overdue. But, what can I say, we've been a little busy.
Even if we just left the primer up and never painted over it, it would still be a big improvement. But, no worries, we're definitely going in for the finishing touches.
After the two front living rooms are done (we haven't even started with the priming of the second living area), then we'll just have the kitchen, the sunroom, and the master bedroom yet. Then we'll have painted the entire interior of the house.
When we first moved in I started with painting the exterior of the house, quite a job. That is basically done. We have one weird stretch between our house and the neighbors that I've been considering replacing the wood siding with composite siding. I wouldn't consider composite materials for the rest of the house because of the homes historic nature, all the siding is cedar. Our block is on the National Register of Historic Places. Unfortunately several buildings on the block are not being very well taken care of, and there is some fantastic architectural elements that are just rotting away.
Well I slept until 5:30 a.m. this morning, until Freckles jumped up on the bed between Barb and I and let out a loud "Meow," which roughly translated means "What the heck! You're usually up and feeding me by now!"
Actually he woke me up at 3:30 a.m. too by pushing the closet door back and forth to make a rapping sound. But I gave him a mean look and he went away.
I have an appointment with the neurosurgeon tomorrow. Hopefully we'll learn more information on how to proceed with treatments from there.
Have a great start to the week everyone.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Hope in a Hopeless World
Barb and I read in a local online newspaper yesterday that someone we had both worked with had passed away in a car accident. It was yet another reminder of how fragile life is.
Life is a balance of joy and sorrow. There will be things that make us grin from ear to ear, that warm our hearts, that make us feel absolutely wonderful. And there will be things that make us feel like we have a gigantic, empty pit in our stomachs.
I've always felt that the life of Jesus was meant to give us an example of how life would be. Through good times and bad times, I look to the examples of His life to understand my own. Jesus certainly experienced joys and sorrows. Jesus certainly experienced strength and suffering.
I was fortunate to be raised not just by a wonderful mother and father, but by an entire church congregation. From a very early age I was exposed to the lessons of the scriptures.
I'm known as someone who analyzes everything. I challenge everything and accept nothing at face value. But faith in God and the promises of the Bible were never difficult ideals for me to accept.
Quite frankly, all I had to do was look around. There are a lot of very intelligent people who each, on their own, analyzed, scrutinized, questioned the meanings of life and all ended up drawing the same conclusions. How could so many people, over so many decades, and centuries, possibly be wrong?
It does not bother me that there are things that we are not meant to fully understand. I accept that because I have faith.
It does not bother me that I will experience suffering and sadness. I accept that because I have faith.
I also realize that I should embrace all the joy and rewards of life, of each day, a beautiful sunrise, the laugh of a two-year old, the beauty of nature around us, the kindess of a stranger.
Life can be challenging. Life can be tough. But as long as your faith is strong there is always hope. And with hope all the joys of life will expose themselves to you also so that you may enjoy the beauty of our journeys.
Life is a balance of joy and sorrow. There will be things that make us grin from ear to ear, that warm our hearts, that make us feel absolutely wonderful. And there will be things that make us feel like we have a gigantic, empty pit in our stomachs.
I've always felt that the life of Jesus was meant to give us an example of how life would be. Through good times and bad times, I look to the examples of His life to understand my own. Jesus certainly experienced joys and sorrows. Jesus certainly experienced strength and suffering.
I was fortunate to be raised not just by a wonderful mother and father, but by an entire church congregation. From a very early age I was exposed to the lessons of the scriptures.
I'm known as someone who analyzes everything. I challenge everything and accept nothing at face value. But faith in God and the promises of the Bible were never difficult ideals for me to accept.
Quite frankly, all I had to do was look around. There are a lot of very intelligent people who each, on their own, analyzed, scrutinized, questioned the meanings of life and all ended up drawing the same conclusions. How could so many people, over so many decades, and centuries, possibly be wrong?
It does not bother me that there are things that we are not meant to fully understand. I accept that because I have faith.
It does not bother me that I will experience suffering and sadness. I accept that because I have faith.
I also realize that I should embrace all the joy and rewards of life, of each day, a beautiful sunrise, the laugh of a two-year old, the beauty of nature around us, the kindess of a stranger.
Life can be challenging. Life can be tough. But as long as your faith is strong there is always hope. And with hope all the joys of life will expose themselves to you also so that you may enjoy the beauty of our journeys.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Good News and Bad News and Good News
In all honesty I was pretty nervous about the results of Wednesday's MRI of the brain. I was worried about being told that the radiation treatment did not work and there was no other treatments now available.
But fortunately that was not the case.
Yesterday afternoon we did receive the results of the MRI. It was both good and bad.
First the good, the tumor in the brain that was treated had completely disappeared. Kidney cancer tumors do not always respond to radiation. They are tough. So this was good to hear.
The bad news though, was that three new tumors had appeared in the brain. They are all very small tumors though, one is two millimeters, the other two are only one millimeters in size.
The good news is that the new tumors can be treated via the Gamma Knife again.
All in all, I'm feeling good about the results.
I certainly was hoping for a clean MRI without any evidence of further disease. But I had a feeling that something was going to show up, based on how I've been feeling the past couple weeks.
My concern was that further treatment would not be possible. So I was very happy to hear that what was found was small, and treatable. That alone gave me a sigh of relief.
The continued spreading of the cancer is certainly problematic. I can only hope that the chemo Sutent can continue to keep the cancer in check for an extended period of time. Since December the cancer has certainly been aggressive. I'm hoping for a little remission.
Tuesday Barb and I will meet with the neurosurgeon and we'll be bringing a laundry list of questions with us. Through my experience I've learned that surgeons are not the best at interacting with patients. Let's face it, most of the patients they see are under anesthesia. But the knowledge is certainly inside him. It just has to be drawn out.
I'm sure Tuesday another Gamma Knife session will be scheduled. It's not a walk in the park. But by now I've been through just about everything. I just take this stuff in stride now.
My faith is strong. My desire to continue this long fight against this crippling cancer is still strong. The reality to me is that life is fragile for everyone. None of us know what tomorrow will bring. We just can make the most of today, the most of the moment.
Does that mean eating lobster tail everyday? Not to me it doesn't. To me it means not wasting time on trivial or petty things, being positive and supportive and a good influence to all around me, completely avoiding any negativity or conflict that may come my way.
As I said to Barb yesterday, this struggle has been a series of good news and bad news and good news and bad news. We just continue to do the best we can, take whatever life deals us, and make the most of it.
The fight goes on.
But fortunately that was not the case.
Yesterday afternoon we did receive the results of the MRI. It was both good and bad.
First the good, the tumor in the brain that was treated had completely disappeared. Kidney cancer tumors do not always respond to radiation. They are tough. So this was good to hear.
The bad news though, was that three new tumors had appeared in the brain. They are all very small tumors though, one is two millimeters, the other two are only one millimeters in size.
The good news is that the new tumors can be treated via the Gamma Knife again.
All in all, I'm feeling good about the results.
I certainly was hoping for a clean MRI without any evidence of further disease. But I had a feeling that something was going to show up, based on how I've been feeling the past couple weeks.
My concern was that further treatment would not be possible. So I was very happy to hear that what was found was small, and treatable. That alone gave me a sigh of relief.
The continued spreading of the cancer is certainly problematic. I can only hope that the chemo Sutent can continue to keep the cancer in check for an extended period of time. Since December the cancer has certainly been aggressive. I'm hoping for a little remission.
Tuesday Barb and I will meet with the neurosurgeon and we'll be bringing a laundry list of questions with us. Through my experience I've learned that surgeons are not the best at interacting with patients. Let's face it, most of the patients they see are under anesthesia. But the knowledge is certainly inside him. It just has to be drawn out.
I'm sure Tuesday another Gamma Knife session will be scheduled. It's not a walk in the park. But by now I've been through just about everything. I just take this stuff in stride now.
My faith is strong. My desire to continue this long fight against this crippling cancer is still strong. The reality to me is that life is fragile for everyone. None of us know what tomorrow will bring. We just can make the most of today, the most of the moment.
Does that mean eating lobster tail everyday? Not to me it doesn't. To me it means not wasting time on trivial or petty things, being positive and supportive and a good influence to all around me, completely avoiding any negativity or conflict that may come my way.
As I said to Barb yesterday, this struggle has been a series of good news and bad news and good news and bad news. We just continue to do the best we can, take whatever life deals us, and make the most of it.
The fight goes on.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Still Waiting, Still Painting
No word yet on Wednesday's MRI of the brain. Both doctors who would logically reach out to me with the results were off yesterday, the oncologist and the nuerosurgeon. The nuerosurgeon is off until Tuesday, the day of my appointment with him.
I'm understandably anxious to hear the results of the MRI. But I'm also very positive and confident. You've gotta' be. There's just no other rational choice.
Continuing with our painting project yesterday kept our minds occupied. We're almost done with priming the front room. I rolled. Barb brushed up the corners and edges. We do make quite a team.
Around noon we both suddenly just wanted to know the results of the MRI. So I called the oncology office and left a message on a "nurses' line." Someone got back to me in a couple of hours and told me that I really should be requesting the results from the ordering doctor - the nuerosurgeon. She added that my oncologist wasn't in today anyway.
So we called the nuerosurgeon and left a message. A receptionist called us back in a bit and told us that the nuerosurgeon was off until Tuesday. But, she added, that his "PA" would pull the report and my file and give us a call tomorrow (which will be today).
So...we should know something today. I'll share the news as I receive it.
In the meantime, we'll keep painting. It's great to see the transformation.
I'm understandably anxious to hear the results of the MRI. But I'm also very positive and confident. You've gotta' be. There's just no other rational choice.
Continuing with our painting project yesterday kept our minds occupied. We're almost done with priming the front room. I rolled. Barb brushed up the corners and edges. We do make quite a team.
Around noon we both suddenly just wanted to know the results of the MRI. So I called the oncology office and left a message on a "nurses' line." Someone got back to me in a couple of hours and told me that I really should be requesting the results from the ordering doctor - the nuerosurgeon. She added that my oncologist wasn't in today anyway.
So we called the nuerosurgeon and left a message. A receptionist called us back in a bit and told us that the nuerosurgeon was off until Tuesday. But, she added, that his "PA" would pull the report and my file and give us a call tomorrow (which will be today).
So...we should know something today. I'll share the news as I receive it.
In the meantime, we'll keep painting. It's great to see the transformation.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
To Sleep or Not to Sleep
My sleeping has gotten better recently, as I've reduced the amount of steroid I've been taking to control the swelling in my brain.
Last night though, I woke up in the middle of the night and Barb was gone.
I knew right away that I must have drove her out of bed with my snoring. I never knew that I was such a snore machine. But in recent months Barb has told me that I can really get quite the rock concert going at night with my loud snores.
I feel terrible. If anything she should have kicked me out of bed.
Rather than go downstairs and bother her even more, I let her go. I figured she had set herself up on the couch in the living room.
Jeesh, not even Freckles was willing to take her place and sleep with me last night. I must have been really loud.
I'm not sure what to do about it.
I saw a $100 pillow in a catalog that promises to position my head so I won't snore anymore. Ummmm.....I don't think so.
I came down this morning and gently woke Barb up on the couch. I asked her if she wanted to go back up to bed. She said, "No," she would stay awake and start her day now.
I've been apologizing ever since. I do feel terrible. Chasing my wife from our bed is definitely not a goal of mine.
If anyone knows how to alleviate snoring, I'm all ears.
I'm sorry Barbie. I'm really sorry.
She's been very understanding about it - like she always is. What an amazing woman she is.
I'm feeling motivated this morning to get back to work on the house. I've got a little sanding and spackling and then more sanding ahead. Then the painting will start. It hasn't been easy covering up this dark green with the primer. But it's rewarding to see our dark, cave-like living areas lightened up so much.
No news on the MRI yesterday, which is a good thing. We'll wait to see if the phone rings today. We may even reach out and ask for the results to be faxed to us, even though that can be a little confusing since I only understand every other word on the medical reports. It's probably just best to forget about it and keep spackling and sanding and painting.
Last night though, I woke up in the middle of the night and Barb was gone.
I knew right away that I must have drove her out of bed with my snoring. I never knew that I was such a snore machine. But in recent months Barb has told me that I can really get quite the rock concert going at night with my loud snores.
I feel terrible. If anything she should have kicked me out of bed.
Rather than go downstairs and bother her even more, I let her go. I figured she had set herself up on the couch in the living room.
Jeesh, not even Freckles was willing to take her place and sleep with me last night. I must have been really loud.
I'm not sure what to do about it.
I saw a $100 pillow in a catalog that promises to position my head so I won't snore anymore. Ummmm.....I don't think so.
I came down this morning and gently woke Barb up on the couch. I asked her if she wanted to go back up to bed. She said, "No," she would stay awake and start her day now.
I've been apologizing ever since. I do feel terrible. Chasing my wife from our bed is definitely not a goal of mine.
If anyone knows how to alleviate snoring, I'm all ears.
I'm sorry Barbie. I'm really sorry.
She's been very understanding about it - like she always is. What an amazing woman she is.
I'm feeling motivated this morning to get back to work on the house. I've got a little sanding and spackling and then more sanding ahead. Then the painting will start. It hasn't been easy covering up this dark green with the primer. But it's rewarding to see our dark, cave-like living areas lightened up so much.
No news on the MRI yesterday, which is a good thing. We'll wait to see if the phone rings today. We may even reach out and ask for the results to be faxed to us, even though that can be a little confusing since I only understand every other word on the medical reports. It's probably just best to forget about it and keep spackling and sanding and painting.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Now We Wait
Well we just got back from the Lancaster Health Campus where I had the follow-up MRI of the brain. Now we will just wait for the results.
I get more nervous about cancer activity in the brain than anywhere else in the body. I guess the reasons why are fairly obvious. The main reason I worry so much about the brain is because it's so difficult to treat. It truly is a miraculous puzzle that's still very far from our true understanding.
I always try to read signals from the MRI techs after they're done with the scans. But that is an effort in futility. They're pretty darn good at playing dumb. I could walk away thinking this or thinking that about how they may have reacted. But it's all guessing, and really not worth the worry until there is actually something to worry about.
I do know that there is scar tissue in my brain from my first radiation treatments. I know this because a recent MRI was read by a radiologist incorrectly. He or she mistook some of that old scar tissue as active lesions. Fortunately a radiologist oncologist read the scans and told me to forget everything I've been told, there was a tumor found, but just one not multiples.
I still do feel a little off. My coordination isn't what it used to be, and I'll feel a little foggy at times. I have been told that in rare cases some patients take as long as two-years to recover from radiation. That made me feel better, knowing that it's not unusual for me to still feel effects like this six-weeks after treatment.
My experience has been, that if something is found to be askew, the phone typically rings the same day as treatment or the day after treatment. So we're hanging out with the telephone today through tomorrow.
The latest I would learn anything is next week when I'm scheduled to meet with the nuerosurgeon who is overseeing the brain radiation treatments.
We're saying little prayers here. Actually we're saying a few large prayers too. But we'll take each day as it comes and continue to make the most of each and every day.
Hey, at least I didn't get attacked by a chimpanzee like one poor woman did yesterday, as reported on the news this morning.
I get more nervous about cancer activity in the brain than anywhere else in the body. I guess the reasons why are fairly obvious. The main reason I worry so much about the brain is because it's so difficult to treat. It truly is a miraculous puzzle that's still very far from our true understanding.
I always try to read signals from the MRI techs after they're done with the scans. But that is an effort in futility. They're pretty darn good at playing dumb. I could walk away thinking this or thinking that about how they may have reacted. But it's all guessing, and really not worth the worry until there is actually something to worry about.
I do know that there is scar tissue in my brain from my first radiation treatments. I know this because a recent MRI was read by a radiologist incorrectly. He or she mistook some of that old scar tissue as active lesions. Fortunately a radiologist oncologist read the scans and told me to forget everything I've been told, there was a tumor found, but just one not multiples.
I still do feel a little off. My coordination isn't what it used to be, and I'll feel a little foggy at times. I have been told that in rare cases some patients take as long as two-years to recover from radiation. That made me feel better, knowing that it's not unusual for me to still feel effects like this six-weeks after treatment.
My experience has been, that if something is found to be askew, the phone typically rings the same day as treatment or the day after treatment. So we're hanging out with the telephone today through tomorrow.
The latest I would learn anything is next week when I'm scheduled to meet with the nuerosurgeon who is overseeing the brain radiation treatments.
We're saying little prayers here. Actually we're saying a few large prayers too. But we'll take each day as it comes and continue to make the most of each and every day.
Hey, at least I didn't get attacked by a chimpanzee like one poor woman did yesterday, as reported on the news this morning.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Checking the Brain Status
Tomorrow I have a follow-up MRI of the brain to hopefully ensure that the Gamma Knife radiation treatment did the job on the sole, small tumor that showed up in my brain just over six-weeks ago.
It's been the thing I've been most nervous about.
The brain is a quandry. It's certainly not as easily accessible as the rest of the body. Also, the blood/brain barrier makes it difficult to get chemotherapy to reach the brain. Evidently the brain has its own blood filter that the medical community has never been able to figure out completely.
I'm still feeling some minor effects from the radiation, in both my brain and in my hip. But I have noticed continued improvement with each passing week, and that gives me reason to feel positive.
Cancer is a crap shoot. It's unpredictable. There seems to be little reason to it. It can go into remission, sometimes for very extended periods of time. It can also turn very aggressive and attack the body quickly and ruthlessly.
But that's the nature of life itself. One day you can be just cruising along, and the next suddenly you've had the weight of the world dropped on your shoulders. There's never a dull moment in this life on this big blue marble.
Today we're taking off for my favorite activity in the world - grocery shopping. OK, yes, there was some sarcasm there.
I'm hoping the trip doesn't drain me too much. I would like to do some more painting today.
We shall see. I keep pushing. I keep fighting. I keep going at it best I can each and everyday.
It's been the thing I've been most nervous about.
The brain is a quandry. It's certainly not as easily accessible as the rest of the body. Also, the blood/brain barrier makes it difficult to get chemotherapy to reach the brain. Evidently the brain has its own blood filter that the medical community has never been able to figure out completely.
I'm still feeling some minor effects from the radiation, in both my brain and in my hip. But I have noticed continued improvement with each passing week, and that gives me reason to feel positive.
Cancer is a crap shoot. It's unpredictable. There seems to be little reason to it. It can go into remission, sometimes for very extended periods of time. It can also turn very aggressive and attack the body quickly and ruthlessly.
But that's the nature of life itself. One day you can be just cruising along, and the next suddenly you've had the weight of the world dropped on your shoulders. There's never a dull moment in this life on this big blue marble.
Today we're taking off for my favorite activity in the world - grocery shopping. OK, yes, there was some sarcasm there.
I'm hoping the trip doesn't drain me too much. I would like to do some more painting today.
We shall see. I keep pushing. I keep fighting. I keep going at it best I can each and everyday.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Say Cheese
It's kind of difficult to understand what living with cancer is like, I would imagine, unless you have it or have someone very close to you who does.
I try to explain it. But it's difficult. It's somewhat random. It's somewhat unpredictable.
Basically, chemotherapy is releasing a poison inside your body. Somehow, through the magic of modern medicine, chemotherapy knows how to seek out areas of your body where cells are dividing rapidly. It then seeks to cut off blood supplies to those areas and dry them up, choke them off, and hopefully kill them.
Unfortunately there are healthy areas of your body where cells are dividing rapidly, and those areas get targeted sometimes too.
At least that's how I understand it.
So random battles break out throughout your body from head to toe. Everyday is different. The other day I woke up with a pain in my upper right calf. Then, later that same afternoon the pain completely went away and showed up in my upper left calf instead.
By the next day the pains in the calves were completely gone and the left side of my head ached instead. Now that's gone too.
I'm still waiting on today's achey spot. Somedays there are none.
Living with cancer, and being on constant chemo, is kind of like having a little touch of the flu, each and every day. You're drained, achey, feeling unenergetic and uninspired. All I can do is roll with the punches each and every day and do the best and the most that I can. I've learned how to juggle things and balance out the elements of life to still live productively and get as much done as possible each and every day.
Yesterday we traveled to the Lantern Lodge in Myerstown with Charlie and Alyssa to have our pictures taken. A childhood neighbor and longtime friend Scott Krall and his wife Bridgette, met us there with their son Jordan.
Jordan is in photography school and offered, very kindly, to take some family portraits of the Alberts. He hoped to use the photos in the portrait section of his portfolio.
Scott is a cancer survivor. His brother Jeff, sadly, had already passed away from cancer complications.
It's always great to get together with a cancer survivor and compare notes. Radiation, chemotherapy, and all the side-effects from both, a cancer survivor truly understands what I am going through, and Scott certainly does understand.
We spent most of the time yesterday, through the photos and through the breakfast at the lodge to follow, talking and catching up. It was good. Thanks Scott. And thanks Bridgette. And thanks Jordan.
And thanks Mom and Dad for organizing this all, not to mention breakfast.
I have no idea how I'm going to look in these pictures. I'm much more comfortable on the other side of the camera. But, I do know that Barb was in every picture I was in, and she certainly helps me look a little better. Sometimes it's all in the company you keep.
I try to explain it. But it's difficult. It's somewhat random. It's somewhat unpredictable.
Basically, chemotherapy is releasing a poison inside your body. Somehow, through the magic of modern medicine, chemotherapy knows how to seek out areas of your body where cells are dividing rapidly. It then seeks to cut off blood supplies to those areas and dry them up, choke them off, and hopefully kill them.
Unfortunately there are healthy areas of your body where cells are dividing rapidly, and those areas get targeted sometimes too.
At least that's how I understand it.
So random battles break out throughout your body from head to toe. Everyday is different. The other day I woke up with a pain in my upper right calf. Then, later that same afternoon the pain completely went away and showed up in my upper left calf instead.
By the next day the pains in the calves were completely gone and the left side of my head ached instead. Now that's gone too.
I'm still waiting on today's achey spot. Somedays there are none.
Living with cancer, and being on constant chemo, is kind of like having a little touch of the flu, each and every day. You're drained, achey, feeling unenergetic and uninspired. All I can do is roll with the punches each and every day and do the best and the most that I can. I've learned how to juggle things and balance out the elements of life to still live productively and get as much done as possible each and every day.
Yesterday we traveled to the Lantern Lodge in Myerstown with Charlie and Alyssa to have our pictures taken. A childhood neighbor and longtime friend Scott Krall and his wife Bridgette, met us there with their son Jordan.
Jordan is in photography school and offered, very kindly, to take some family portraits of the Alberts. He hoped to use the photos in the portrait section of his portfolio.
Scott is a cancer survivor. His brother Jeff, sadly, had already passed away from cancer complications.
It's always great to get together with a cancer survivor and compare notes. Radiation, chemotherapy, and all the side-effects from both, a cancer survivor truly understands what I am going through, and Scott certainly does understand.
We spent most of the time yesterday, through the photos and through the breakfast at the lodge to follow, talking and catching up. It was good. Thanks Scott. And thanks Bridgette. And thanks Jordan.
And thanks Mom and Dad for organizing this all, not to mention breakfast.
I have no idea how I'm going to look in these pictures. I'm much more comfortable on the other side of the camera. But, I do know that Barb was in every picture I was in, and she certainly helps me look a little better. Sometimes it's all in the company you keep.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A Lot of Sweet Hearts
Thanks to everyone for all the love and support throughout this past year.
Happy Valentine's everyone!
Happy Valentine's everyone!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Generations
The 50s were the "Happy Days" and "Leave it to Beaver" generation. The 60s brought on Vietnam, revolt, and the hippies. The 70s were excess and the disco generation. The 80s brought on big hair and the Reagan era. The 90s were the X-generation.
What is the current decade all about?
I don't really know.
I've asked people in their 20s what new music is coming out. They've shrugged their shoulders.
I know about many new artists and new music that's been coming out in recent years. But all of it seems to be geared more towards my generation.
I constantly look for signs of intelligence in society, in the media, in cultural events, in general. I seem to find less and less of it.
There used to be concerts and art exhibits and performances of all kinds to get involved in. Now the more I look, the less I find.
Creative television shows have thoroughly been replaced by "reality" TV.
A 61-year old, Robert Plant, dominated the Grammy Awards a couple weeks ago.
Even Saturday morning cartoons seem to have been replaced by 200 channels of paid programming.
And, no, I have not bought a "Snuggie" yet. Jeesh, a blanket with two holes in it to stick your arms through. Please tell me you guys aren't buying that!
The older teenagers we see here in Marietta we refer to as punks. They mainly just hang-out, smoke cigarettes, and do their best to try to look like ghetto toughies with their jeans hanging halfway down their rear ends. They have tan lines from hours in front of the Playstation, and stand around and hold up the street signs when they decide to come out for air.
I'm sure there are intelligent youth out there. I must not be looking in the right places.
I'm sure there are some in this generation of 2000-2010 that are interested in culture, in reading, in writing, in art, in music, in performance.
Aren't there?
What is the current decade all about?
I don't really know.
I've asked people in their 20s what new music is coming out. They've shrugged their shoulders.
I know about many new artists and new music that's been coming out in recent years. But all of it seems to be geared more towards my generation.
I constantly look for signs of intelligence in society, in the media, in cultural events, in general. I seem to find less and less of it.
There used to be concerts and art exhibits and performances of all kinds to get involved in. Now the more I look, the less I find.
Creative television shows have thoroughly been replaced by "reality" TV.
A 61-year old, Robert Plant, dominated the Grammy Awards a couple weeks ago.
Even Saturday morning cartoons seem to have been replaced by 200 channels of paid programming.
And, no, I have not bought a "Snuggie" yet. Jeesh, a blanket with two holes in it to stick your arms through. Please tell me you guys aren't buying that!
The older teenagers we see here in Marietta we refer to as punks. They mainly just hang-out, smoke cigarettes, and do their best to try to look like ghetto toughies with their jeans hanging halfway down their rear ends. They have tan lines from hours in front of the Playstation, and stand around and hold up the street signs when they decide to come out for air.
I'm sure there are intelligent youth out there. I must not be looking in the right places.
I'm sure there are some in this generation of 2000-2010 that are interested in culture, in reading, in writing, in art, in music, in performance.
Aren't there?
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Painting
Painting and mowing grass were my first two jobs in life. I started off on both ventures pretty young, although I can't remember which one came first.
It all started at home, on Golf Road. As soon as I could handle the riding mower I was cutting all the open areas while my Dad took the push mower around all the trees and edges.
Every summer it seemed the wood deck behind the house and the "barn" (a shed where we kept an odd assortment of stuff), needed painting and that became my job too.
These jobs did not put cash in my pocket. But they were part of me earning my keep. My Dad wanted to teach me responsibility. It worked. To this day I always want to do my part. Just ask Barb, Alyssa and Charlie. If I don't cook dinner I always do all the clean up work. "I have to work for my dinner," I say.
Both assignments, mowing grass and painting, did turn into paid assignments through the years though.
Mowing grass led to taking care of a couple yards, one being my grandparents. It was my very first paying job. I used almost every penny I earned to join the Columbia House Music Club, you know that deal where you get 11 albums for one cent and then you have to buy eight more at regular club price over time.
I had the largest collection of music among anyone my age in Myerstown.
Immediately after graduating high school I was asked if I'd like to spend the summer painting the outside of the high school. I have no idea how this came about. But I immediately agreed to do it. Although I did find some sour irony in the fact that even though I graduated, I still couldn't get away from the high school.
So my first full-time, 40-hour a week job, was painting.
It was a task I had already been thoroughly trained for by my Dad. No shirt, lots of sunshine, a portable radio, prepping the surface, nice even coat, easy-going work I enjoyed. Hey, I'm a simple guy. I enjoyed painting.
Painting the high school was a little more complex than painting my parents' wooden deck. It involved scaffolding. We painted the metal beams all around the school. It was fun though. My partner and I worked hard and took pride in our work. But we also took a break or two to stage air-guitar concerts from the scaffolding.
We also had access to an old, beat-up, stand-up style delivery truck. I loved to drive that piece of junk. I taught my work mate to drive the manual transmission beast with no seats. But after one drive, and bouncing the side of the truck off the inside of a railroad underpass, he had enough.
One day though the superintendent of the school grounds called us to the school's sewage treatment plant, along with the two school janitors.
When we got there we were shocked. I mean we were mouths open, chins resting on the ground shocked.
The superintendent of the grounds was at least 20-feet down in the sewage pit. He had two buckets tied to ropes. One bucket at a time would be dropped into the sewage where he would fill it up with disgusting sludge, then a janitor would pull it up and dump it into the back of the superintendent's pick-up truck.
We were there to take the place of the janitors.
For two-hours it was the most disgusting thing I had ever done in my life. I remember asking the man in charge if they had big trucks with vacuums to do this kind of stuff. And I remember him telling me that they did, but he wanted to take this stuff home to spread on his garden.
Yuck! You've gotta' be kidding me!
Well my partner and I decided that at first break we were marching into the business manager's office, the man who hired us, and demanding an end to this insanity. Either we would go back to the painting we were hired to do, or we were walking.
It was the most disgusting thing I had ever done in my life. It was wrong. It was stupid.
"You're doing what?" the business manager asked. He was shocked too. He told the superintendent of grounds that we were working for him the rest of the day. He took us water skiing.
Today I go back to painting, as I start priming the two main living areas of our house. It's long overdue. We've wanted to get rid of this dark green color ever since we've moved in. It makes it feel like a dark cave and we want to lighten things up.
I enjoy it. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment, being able to step back at the end of the day and see the finished product. I'll keep the shirt on. But the shoes will come off, and I'll be in bare feet, so I can tell if I step in any wet paint. As always with painting, the music will be playing.
It keeps me active and brings back a lot of fond memories of painting decks, barns, schools, and even that couple miles of chain-link fence I painted one summer around the pharmaceutical plant where my Dad worked.
It's not rocket-science. But than it's not emptying a sewage plant by rope and bucket either. It's work perfectly suited for a big goofball like myself.
It all started at home, on Golf Road. As soon as I could handle the riding mower I was cutting all the open areas while my Dad took the push mower around all the trees and edges.
Every summer it seemed the wood deck behind the house and the "barn" (a shed where we kept an odd assortment of stuff), needed painting and that became my job too.
These jobs did not put cash in my pocket. But they were part of me earning my keep. My Dad wanted to teach me responsibility. It worked. To this day I always want to do my part. Just ask Barb, Alyssa and Charlie. If I don't cook dinner I always do all the clean up work. "I have to work for my dinner," I say.
Both assignments, mowing grass and painting, did turn into paid assignments through the years though.
Mowing grass led to taking care of a couple yards, one being my grandparents. It was my very first paying job. I used almost every penny I earned to join the Columbia House Music Club, you know that deal where you get 11 albums for one cent and then you have to buy eight more at regular club price over time.
I had the largest collection of music among anyone my age in Myerstown.
Immediately after graduating high school I was asked if I'd like to spend the summer painting the outside of the high school. I have no idea how this came about. But I immediately agreed to do it. Although I did find some sour irony in the fact that even though I graduated, I still couldn't get away from the high school.
So my first full-time, 40-hour a week job, was painting.
It was a task I had already been thoroughly trained for by my Dad. No shirt, lots of sunshine, a portable radio, prepping the surface, nice even coat, easy-going work I enjoyed. Hey, I'm a simple guy. I enjoyed painting.
Painting the high school was a little more complex than painting my parents' wooden deck. It involved scaffolding. We painted the metal beams all around the school. It was fun though. My partner and I worked hard and took pride in our work. But we also took a break or two to stage air-guitar concerts from the scaffolding.
We also had access to an old, beat-up, stand-up style delivery truck. I loved to drive that piece of junk. I taught my work mate to drive the manual transmission beast with no seats. But after one drive, and bouncing the side of the truck off the inside of a railroad underpass, he had enough.
One day though the superintendent of the school grounds called us to the school's sewage treatment plant, along with the two school janitors.
When we got there we were shocked. I mean we were mouths open, chins resting on the ground shocked.
The superintendent of the grounds was at least 20-feet down in the sewage pit. He had two buckets tied to ropes. One bucket at a time would be dropped into the sewage where he would fill it up with disgusting sludge, then a janitor would pull it up and dump it into the back of the superintendent's pick-up truck.
We were there to take the place of the janitors.
For two-hours it was the most disgusting thing I had ever done in my life. I remember asking the man in charge if they had big trucks with vacuums to do this kind of stuff. And I remember him telling me that they did, but he wanted to take this stuff home to spread on his garden.
Yuck! You've gotta' be kidding me!
Well my partner and I decided that at first break we were marching into the business manager's office, the man who hired us, and demanding an end to this insanity. Either we would go back to the painting we were hired to do, or we were walking.
It was the most disgusting thing I had ever done in my life. It was wrong. It was stupid.
"You're doing what?" the business manager asked. He was shocked too. He told the superintendent of grounds that we were working for him the rest of the day. He took us water skiing.
Today I go back to painting, as I start priming the two main living areas of our house. It's long overdue. We've wanted to get rid of this dark green color ever since we've moved in. It makes it feel like a dark cave and we want to lighten things up.
I enjoy it. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment, being able to step back at the end of the day and see the finished product. I'll keep the shirt on. But the shoes will come off, and I'll be in bare feet, so I can tell if I step in any wet paint. As always with painting, the music will be playing.
It keeps me active and brings back a lot of fond memories of painting decks, barns, schools, and even that couple miles of chain-link fence I painted one summer around the pharmaceutical plant where my Dad worked.
It's not rocket-science. But than it's not emptying a sewage plant by rope and bucket either. It's work perfectly suited for a big goofball like myself.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
This, That, and the Other Thing
I approached the idea of painting the front room with great foreboding. It was one of the higher things on the list of things to procrastinate about.
It's not the painting I mind. It's scraping off the wallpaper and prepping the walls first.
Well, it's Barb to the rescue once again. I don't know her secret. But she's tearing down that wallpaper in speeds I didn't think were possible. I mean this stuff is really glued on there. She's on a mission. You can see it in her eyes.
I should be starting to prime the wall by tomorrow.
The temperature is expected to reach near 60-degrees today. I'd really like to thank our friends in the South for pushing that front up here. It could actually be a car wash day today. I certainly have to wash all of that road salt off the FJ Cruiser. But the expected rain with wind gusts over 50 mph tonight just might be the "automatic" car wash I use instead.
Barb and I have decided that we may need to schedule a corporate retreat to the Hotel Hershey soon, while we await our bailout for graphic design firms.
I keep feeling better with each passing week. My steroid dose has been cut considerably and I think it's only a matter of a week or two before I can get off of it completely.
Hopefully that will get my sleeping patterns back in order. But, who knows, the steroid may be masking some of the effects of the chemo. The chemo side-effects will likely show their true colors after the steroid is out of my system.
It's a funky adventure.
I was pretty darn lethargic through January as I recovered from the radiation treatments. But I'm hitting the exercises again, getting stiff and sore. Plus painting and carrying 12-foot ladders around always helps to find a few muscles to work out that I forgot I had.
I'm working on some creative art projects as well. I just finished a photo collage of six textural and color elements around our house to attempt to caputure the feel of this old house. I think it turned out pretty decent. It's framed and on the wall.
Now I'm looking to use some recycled materials as a background to some of my personality illustrations, drawn in ink, colorized on the computer, and cut out of large prints. This one is still hatching...
I'm never bored.
It's not the painting I mind. It's scraping off the wallpaper and prepping the walls first.
Well, it's Barb to the rescue once again. I don't know her secret. But she's tearing down that wallpaper in speeds I didn't think were possible. I mean this stuff is really glued on there. She's on a mission. You can see it in her eyes.
I should be starting to prime the wall by tomorrow.
The temperature is expected to reach near 60-degrees today. I'd really like to thank our friends in the South for pushing that front up here. It could actually be a car wash day today. I certainly have to wash all of that road salt off the FJ Cruiser. But the expected rain with wind gusts over 50 mph tonight just might be the "automatic" car wash I use instead.
Barb and I have decided that we may need to schedule a corporate retreat to the Hotel Hershey soon, while we await our bailout for graphic design firms.
I keep feeling better with each passing week. My steroid dose has been cut considerably and I think it's only a matter of a week or two before I can get off of it completely.
Hopefully that will get my sleeping patterns back in order. But, who knows, the steroid may be masking some of the effects of the chemo. The chemo side-effects will likely show their true colors after the steroid is out of my system.
It's a funky adventure.
I was pretty darn lethargic through January as I recovered from the radiation treatments. But I'm hitting the exercises again, getting stiff and sore. Plus painting and carrying 12-foot ladders around always helps to find a few muscles to work out that I forgot I had.
I'm working on some creative art projects as well. I just finished a photo collage of six textural and color elements around our house to attempt to caputure the feel of this old house. I think it turned out pretty decent. It's framed and on the wall.
Now I'm looking to use some recycled materials as a background to some of my personality illustrations, drawn in ink, colorized on the computer, and cut out of large prints. This one is still hatching...
I'm never bored.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
There's a New Cheese Steak in Town
It amazes me that you can travel to Missouri and ask folks "Where can I find a good cheese steak?" and they'll look at you like you just dropped in from Mars.
"A cheese what? Steak? A steak with cheese on it?"
I feel honored, and blessed, to be able to report that an authentic Italian-Philadelphia style cheese steak on a homemade roll has come to Marietta.
Just give me one second here. I'm tearing up a little. (sniff)
A new pizza and sandwich shop moved into a tiny little strip mall a builder attached to a soon-to-be-finished townhouse development and I was able to try the place out for the first time.
The rumor was out that they made their own sandwich rolls and pizza dough daily so I've been a buzz in anticipation. The shop is also very Italian, which seems to be another prerequisite to the outstanding cheese steak.
Overall I would give my cheese steak a seven on a scale of 10. I'm a tough critic, and I have had better. But I've had much, much worse. It was a good cheese steak. I'd order it again, and I will before too long I'm sure.
I've done my share of city living. Part of the charm in living a little away from things in a tiny town means that you're away from things - like a good pizza shop. It's one thing we did not have.
Oh pizza shops have come and they have gone. One still exists but I'm not sure how. They're pizza is the most disgusting pizza I've ever had in my life.
But this new place is going to stay. I can feel it.
They'll make it on my cheese steak buying alone.
"A cheese what? Steak? A steak with cheese on it?"
I feel honored, and blessed, to be able to report that an authentic Italian-Philadelphia style cheese steak on a homemade roll has come to Marietta.
Just give me one second here. I'm tearing up a little. (sniff)
A new pizza and sandwich shop moved into a tiny little strip mall a builder attached to a soon-to-be-finished townhouse development and I was able to try the place out for the first time.
The rumor was out that they made their own sandwich rolls and pizza dough daily so I've been a buzz in anticipation. The shop is also very Italian, which seems to be another prerequisite to the outstanding cheese steak.
Overall I would give my cheese steak a seven on a scale of 10. I'm a tough critic, and I have had better. But I've had much, much worse. It was a good cheese steak. I'd order it again, and I will before too long I'm sure.
I've done my share of city living. Part of the charm in living a little away from things in a tiny town means that you're away from things - like a good pizza shop. It's one thing we did not have.
Oh pizza shops have come and they have gone. One still exists but I'm not sure how. They're pizza is the most disgusting pizza I've ever had in my life.
But this new place is going to stay. I can feel it.
They'll make it on my cheese steak buying alone.
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Left Bank
I was watching Sixty Minutes the other week and they did a story on the Middle East. What a mess it is. And how can it possibly resolve?
I was surprised when one "expert," said that the current state of Israel was basically a state of apartheid. Apartheid?
I looked up "apartheid" in an online dictionary - racial segregation; specifically: a former policy of segregation and political and economic discrimination against non-European groups in the Republic of South Africa.
Well the dictionary mentioned South Africa specifically, not Israel.
I thought about it. There is certainly segregation in Israel. But it is based on religious differences not racial. There is certainly political and economic discrimination against non-Jewish groups in Israel. I don't think you could hold office or own property in Israel unless you were Jewish.
I do know that the state of Israel was created in 1948 after the United Nations divided Palestine in 1947 into one Arab and one Jewish state. I do know that there hasn't been peace in the region since.
Each side believes that it has a God-given right to the region. Some, on each side, believe that God has called them to settle the region.
What a quandry.
Our country was founded in the search of religious freedom. So the whole concept of countries based upon a specific religion goes against the basic essence of what we hold dear.
Imagine if Pennsylvania passed a law that did not allow, oh let's say Lutherans, to vote or own property or to start a business. That wouldn't be real swell. But that's the normal course in many countries across the Middle East, including Israel.
But if everyone in the Middle East was allowed to be involved in Israel specifically Arabs so greatly outnumber Jews that Israel would in essence cease to exist.
So we end up with a situation that many say will never resolve.
We seem to have little choice but to support two independent countries, Israel and Palestine, who are both built and operated on the basis of religion, an ideology we don't embrace.
Just to make things even more difficult, both groups have plenty of radicals who believe that they are called by God to remove the other from the region.
I didn't know that God was a realtor.
Actually, I'm pretty sure He isn't.
I'm amazed of course that people can't see themselves as brothers and sisters under one God. C'mon, we're obviously all related somehow. We are all one.
I'm amazed that people throughout the Middle East can't see how they all want the same things, health, education, comfort for themselves and their families - just the simple, basic stuff.
Well, I'm a positive guy - maybe someday.
I was surprised when one "expert," said that the current state of Israel was basically a state of apartheid. Apartheid?
I looked up "apartheid" in an online dictionary - racial segregation; specifically: a former policy of segregation and political and economic discrimination against non-European groups in the Republic of South Africa.
Well the dictionary mentioned South Africa specifically, not Israel.
I thought about it. There is certainly segregation in Israel. But it is based on religious differences not racial. There is certainly political and economic discrimination against non-Jewish groups in Israel. I don't think you could hold office or own property in Israel unless you were Jewish.
I do know that the state of Israel was created in 1948 after the United Nations divided Palestine in 1947 into one Arab and one Jewish state. I do know that there hasn't been peace in the region since.
Each side believes that it has a God-given right to the region. Some, on each side, believe that God has called them to settle the region.
What a quandry.
Our country was founded in the search of religious freedom. So the whole concept of countries based upon a specific religion goes against the basic essence of what we hold dear.
Imagine if Pennsylvania passed a law that did not allow, oh let's say Lutherans, to vote or own property or to start a business. That wouldn't be real swell. But that's the normal course in many countries across the Middle East, including Israel.
But if everyone in the Middle East was allowed to be involved in Israel specifically Arabs so greatly outnumber Jews that Israel would in essence cease to exist.
So we end up with a situation that many say will never resolve.
We seem to have little choice but to support two independent countries, Israel and Palestine, who are both built and operated on the basis of religion, an ideology we don't embrace.
Just to make things even more difficult, both groups have plenty of radicals who believe that they are called by God to remove the other from the region.
I didn't know that God was a realtor.
Actually, I'm pretty sure He isn't.
I'm amazed of course that people can't see themselves as brothers and sisters under one God. C'mon, we're obviously all related somehow. We are all one.
I'm amazed that people throughout the Middle East can't see how they all want the same things, health, education, comfort for themselves and their families - just the simple, basic stuff.
Well, I'm a positive guy - maybe someday.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
A Birthday Thank You
I want to give a major thank you to Jim, Alyssa, Charlie, both Moms, Debbie, Ellis and Jay for the very pleasant birthday wishes. On Wednesday the 4th I got to go out to lunch with Alice and do some shopping and Paul staying at our house with Jim. Alice and I had a great time and I thank her for the very nice outfit she bought me for my birthday.
On Thursday the 5th (my actual birthday) I was able to enjoy the company of Jim, Alyssa and Charlie at the Catacomb's in Mount Joy, we all had a wonderful time. The food is always wonderful there. I also received a nice gift from Alyssa and Charlie of a really cool candle holder with a jar candle and of course coffee, which I have already tried and it is very good.
On Friday the 6th, Jim, myself, my dad, my mom, Debbie, and Alyssa went to Round the Clock diner in York for breakfast. The diner is right off Route 30, so they do a fair share of business. We had a very nice time and I thank my family for that. I received two very nice birthday cards from my parents and Debbie. I also thank my parents for some spending cash, my sister, Ellis and Jay for this really neat vinyl lettering you put on your wall that says "A little laugh, a littile promise, a little hope. The other really neat gift was a photo calender from Debbie, Jay and Ellis of family photographs for each month of the year.
After breakfast Jim came home and my father went to my sisters house while myself, Alyssa, Debbie and my mom went to Ross' to do some shopping. We had a really nice time and I like to go there occasionally because they do have some bargains.
One thing that I know that I get to do for my birthday yet is to get to go to the Hershey Hotel in the spring when the weather gets nicer and I am looking forward to that, Jim and I could both use a corporate retreat.
Once again, I can't thank everybody enough for making my birthday such a pleasant one.
(Over the past three years, my birthday has fallen into some bad timing as far as dealing with things, but some things are so much more important)
On Thursday the 5th (my actual birthday) I was able to enjoy the company of Jim, Alyssa and Charlie at the Catacomb's in Mount Joy, we all had a wonderful time. The food is always wonderful there. I also received a nice gift from Alyssa and Charlie of a really cool candle holder with a jar candle and of course coffee, which I have already tried and it is very good.
On Friday the 6th, Jim, myself, my dad, my mom, Debbie, and Alyssa went to Round the Clock diner in York for breakfast. The diner is right off Route 30, so they do a fair share of business. We had a very nice time and I thank my family for that. I received two very nice birthday cards from my parents and Debbie. I also thank my parents for some spending cash, my sister, Ellis and Jay for this really neat vinyl lettering you put on your wall that says "A little laugh, a littile promise, a little hope. The other really neat gift was a photo calender from Debbie, Jay and Ellis of family photographs for each month of the year.
After breakfast Jim came home and my father went to my sisters house while myself, Alyssa, Debbie and my mom went to Ross' to do some shopping. We had a really nice time and I like to go there occasionally because they do have some bargains.
One thing that I know that I get to do for my birthday yet is to get to go to the Hershey Hotel in the spring when the weather gets nicer and I am looking forward to that, Jim and I could both use a corporate retreat.
Once again, I can't thank everybody enough for making my birthday such a pleasant one.
(Over the past three years, my birthday has fallen into some bad timing as far as dealing with things, but some things are so much more important)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Good Appointment
I had a good appointment with my oncologist on Thursday. It was a scheduled, routine follow-up. The oncologist believes that everything he's hearing and seeing equals remarkable progress through this past month.
The new chemo Sutent is definitely making its mark. Typically this would be impossible to guage without a CT scan. But since I had a topical tumor on the back of my head I've had something to measure by.
I was happy when the oncologist went searching for this bump on my head and couldn't even find it. It had grown to about the size of a quarter, and now is virtually invisible and gone.
The doctor was pleasantly surprised by how quickly and effectively the new chemo began working. He and I both assume that it is being just as effective throughout the body.
I was a little concerned about the brain, what might be going on up there, and my recovery from radiation. He put my mind at ease though.
I learned, through the doctor, that feeling a little punched around in the head is perfectly normal for weeks and even months after radiation treatments. The fact that I felt a bit better each and every week was what was most significant to him.
I was surprised to hear him say that some people, on the extreme end, may take as long as two-years to completely shake off the effects of radiation of the brain.
Well now, at least, I have a good excuse for doing stupid things.
All of my bloodwork was good too. The doctor was very happy with the course of treatment, and Barb and I walked away feeling confident we're on the right track again.
I have been feeling better and stronger with each passing day. I've gained 10-pounds and the hip will soon be well enough to get me back on the bike-trainer. It's supposed to be in the 40-degree range this weekend so I plan on pulling the big ladder out of the basement and put the final touches on painting the stairwell.
The doctor appointment went so smooth and well yesterday the doctor and I had time to talk about normal stuff, what we're up to, filling tires with air in 17-degree temps, Barb's birthday. Barb even had some time to visit with some of the nurses.
It's been a tough month of recovery. But for now it seems like we're getting everything back on track.
The new chemo Sutent is definitely making its mark. Typically this would be impossible to guage without a CT scan. But since I had a topical tumor on the back of my head I've had something to measure by.
I was happy when the oncologist went searching for this bump on my head and couldn't even find it. It had grown to about the size of a quarter, and now is virtually invisible and gone.
The doctor was pleasantly surprised by how quickly and effectively the new chemo began working. He and I both assume that it is being just as effective throughout the body.
I was a little concerned about the brain, what might be going on up there, and my recovery from radiation. He put my mind at ease though.
I learned, through the doctor, that feeling a little punched around in the head is perfectly normal for weeks and even months after radiation treatments. The fact that I felt a bit better each and every week was what was most significant to him.
I was surprised to hear him say that some people, on the extreme end, may take as long as two-years to completely shake off the effects of radiation of the brain.
Well now, at least, I have a good excuse for doing stupid things.
All of my bloodwork was good too. The doctor was very happy with the course of treatment, and Barb and I walked away feeling confident we're on the right track again.
I have been feeling better and stronger with each passing day. I've gained 10-pounds and the hip will soon be well enough to get me back on the bike-trainer. It's supposed to be in the 40-degree range this weekend so I plan on pulling the big ladder out of the basement and put the final touches on painting the stairwell.
The doctor appointment went so smooth and well yesterday the doctor and I had time to talk about normal stuff, what we're up to, filling tires with air in 17-degree temps, Barb's birthday. Barb even had some time to visit with some of the nurses.
It's been a tough month of recovery. But for now it seems like we're getting everything back on track.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Change
So far, our President's promise for "Change" has been a lot more of the same.
But whether or not the new administration can actually effect positive change, change is coming. Greater separation of classes, record setting unemployment rates, unprecedented debt, people losing their homes - I'd say change is already here.
As soon as I heard that President Obama had appointed former Senator Tom Daschle to head the Department of Health and Human Services I knew we were not heading down the right road, and not effecting change.
Daschle is a long-time Washington insider. He was a Senator from South Dakota for 26-years. That's not change. That's more of the same.
And low and behold, Daschle's taxes are messed up and it turns out that he's taking $2 million a year from the drug company's lobbyists. This was the man who was supposed to lead the fix of our health system in this country. And he's on the take.
More of the same.
Many people may think that I'm a Democrat because of my support of Obama during the election. I am not. I am a registered independent.
I think party politics has got to go. I think political parties have to go. It doesn't matter if an idea is a Republican idea or a Democratic idea, it matters only if it's a good idea that serves the constituency that every representative is supposed to be representing.
Who does your state and federal congressman represent? You?
If you said "Yes," you're living in dreamland. They represent their circle of cronies who line their pockets with goodies and it has gotten way out of hand.
Every decision that is made, EVERY SINGLE DECISION, should be made in the best interest of the middle-class, the masses, all of us. It's not happening that way.
This is all very, very dangerous. And I am getting more and more frightened.
Ironically, the folks that have stood up for capitalism and warned of the evils of socialism are the ones driving us to that historical reality through years and years of opulence and greed.
Sharp division of classes and the rich and greedy abusing their powers is what led to revolt and the initiation of communism in Russia. How far off are we from revolt? How long will it be until the masses in America are hungry enough, cold enough, maltreated to the point of complete revolt and collapse?
I'm worried.
We went out to eat last night to celebrate Barb's birthday. We went to the Catacomb's in Mt. Joy. The Catacombs is a fine dining restaurant that is uniquely located 45-feet underground in the very old wine cellars of a local historic hotel.
The historic hotel, known as Bube's Brewery, also is the home of two other restaurant/bars, which are known as the Bottling Works and Alois's. I've been visiting this place for more than two-decades and it has changed little through the years. One thing that hasn't changed is it's popularity. The place has always fared well.
Last night, besides Barb, I, Alyssa and Charlie there was one couple in the entire rest of the building - six customers. There was twice as many staff on duty last evening than there was customers.
I have never seen it like this. I was shocked, amazed, and quite frankly it scared me.
Anytime I've ever visited Bube's Brewery through the past two decades it's always been full - always.
Where are we going?
But whether or not the new administration can actually effect positive change, change is coming. Greater separation of classes, record setting unemployment rates, unprecedented debt, people losing their homes - I'd say change is already here.
As soon as I heard that President Obama had appointed former Senator Tom Daschle to head the Department of Health and Human Services I knew we were not heading down the right road, and not effecting change.
Daschle is a long-time Washington insider. He was a Senator from South Dakota for 26-years. That's not change. That's more of the same.
And low and behold, Daschle's taxes are messed up and it turns out that he's taking $2 million a year from the drug company's lobbyists. This was the man who was supposed to lead the fix of our health system in this country. And he's on the take.
More of the same.
Many people may think that I'm a Democrat because of my support of Obama during the election. I am not. I am a registered independent.
I think party politics has got to go. I think political parties have to go. It doesn't matter if an idea is a Republican idea or a Democratic idea, it matters only if it's a good idea that serves the constituency that every representative is supposed to be representing.
Who does your state and federal congressman represent? You?
If you said "Yes," you're living in dreamland. They represent their circle of cronies who line their pockets with goodies and it has gotten way out of hand.
Every decision that is made, EVERY SINGLE DECISION, should be made in the best interest of the middle-class, the masses, all of us. It's not happening that way.
This is all very, very dangerous. And I am getting more and more frightened.
Ironically, the folks that have stood up for capitalism and warned of the evils of socialism are the ones driving us to that historical reality through years and years of opulence and greed.
Sharp division of classes and the rich and greedy abusing their powers is what led to revolt and the initiation of communism in Russia. How far off are we from revolt? How long will it be until the masses in America are hungry enough, cold enough, maltreated to the point of complete revolt and collapse?
I'm worried.
We went out to eat last night to celebrate Barb's birthday. We went to the Catacomb's in Mt. Joy. The Catacombs is a fine dining restaurant that is uniquely located 45-feet underground in the very old wine cellars of a local historic hotel.
The historic hotel, known as Bube's Brewery, also is the home of two other restaurant/bars, which are known as the Bottling Works and Alois's. I've been visiting this place for more than two-decades and it has changed little through the years. One thing that hasn't changed is it's popularity. The place has always fared well.
Last night, besides Barb, I, Alyssa and Charlie there was one couple in the entire rest of the building - six customers. There was twice as many staff on duty last evening than there was customers.
I have never seen it like this. I was shocked, amazed, and quite frankly it scared me.
Anytime I've ever visited Bube's Brewery through the past two decades it's always been full - always.
Where are we going?
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Happy Birthday!
(singing)
Happy Birthday to Barb!
Happy Birthday to Barb!
Happy Birthday dear Barbie!
Happy Birthday to you!
(She doesn't look a day older than 28!)
Happy Birthday to Barb!
Happy Birthday to Barb!
Happy Birthday dear Barbie!
Happy Birthday to you!
(She doesn't look a day older than 28!)
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Crazy Cat
Usually Freckles is pretty good about not bothering us when we're sleeping.
Occasionally Freckles will stick his head in the room in the early morning hours and give a "Meow," or two. That's pretty rare though. Generally that means, "Hey! Aren't you guys awake yet? I am. And I could use some fresh food and water."
If we ignore it. He goes away.
Even more rare is when Freckles consistently meows and then jumps up into the bed with us.
He'll gladly join me up on the bed for an afternoon nap. But he doesn't like being in the bed when both of us are in there. Barb twists and turns and flips and flops too much. Freckles is very wary of that.
This morning around 4 a.m. Freckles started with the meowing and then followed that up by jumping right up into the bed, still meowing.
On the very rare occasions when this happens it almost always means that something is wrong. Almost every time it means that Freckles has vomited somewhere and he's trying to warn us about it so we don't step in it, and so we'll hopefully clean it up as soon as possible because he doesn't want it around either.
I was already awake and Barb looked pretty darn content. So I groaned and got up and started the trek downstairs in search of Freckles puke.
I looked everywhere. Surprisingly there was no vomit. There was also no Freckles.
He had kicked me out of bed and stayed in bed with Barb himself!
What a little stinker. That was a new one.
I guess my strange sleeping habits lately have changed Freckles sleeping habits too. It was afterall around 4 a.m. and he's become used to me waking up around 2 a.m. lately.
I know when I was first waking up in the middle of the night I'd sneak downstairs and pass Freckles slumbering on the small rug at the landing on the top of the stairs. He'd look up at me through sleepy eyes like he was saying "What are you doing up at this hour?"
Now he's come to expect me at 2 a.m.
Jeesh.
I'm sure Barb is going to be happy for me to get off this steroid and get back to normal sleeping. If it's not Freckles waking her up in the middle of the night - it's me.
Occasionally Freckles will stick his head in the room in the early morning hours and give a "Meow," or two. That's pretty rare though. Generally that means, "Hey! Aren't you guys awake yet? I am. And I could use some fresh food and water."
If we ignore it. He goes away.
Even more rare is when Freckles consistently meows and then jumps up into the bed with us.
He'll gladly join me up on the bed for an afternoon nap. But he doesn't like being in the bed when both of us are in there. Barb twists and turns and flips and flops too much. Freckles is very wary of that.
This morning around 4 a.m. Freckles started with the meowing and then followed that up by jumping right up into the bed, still meowing.
On the very rare occasions when this happens it almost always means that something is wrong. Almost every time it means that Freckles has vomited somewhere and he's trying to warn us about it so we don't step in it, and so we'll hopefully clean it up as soon as possible because he doesn't want it around either.
I was already awake and Barb looked pretty darn content. So I groaned and got up and started the trek downstairs in search of Freckles puke.
I looked everywhere. Surprisingly there was no vomit. There was also no Freckles.
He had kicked me out of bed and stayed in bed with Barb himself!
What a little stinker. That was a new one.
I guess my strange sleeping habits lately have changed Freckles sleeping habits too. It was afterall around 4 a.m. and he's become used to me waking up around 2 a.m. lately.
I know when I was first waking up in the middle of the night I'd sneak downstairs and pass Freckles slumbering on the small rug at the landing on the top of the stairs. He'd look up at me through sleepy eyes like he was saying "What are you doing up at this hour?"
Now he's come to expect me at 2 a.m.
Jeesh.
I'm sure Barb is going to be happy for me to get off this steroid and get back to normal sleeping. If it's not Freckles waking her up in the middle of the night - it's me.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Cravings
We went to the grocery store the other day, and as we were checking out I caught the bag boy really eyeing up my chocolate doughnuts.
He was a young, pudgy fellow, likely still in high school, and he was looking at my chocolate doughnuts with longing and lust. He was looking them over closely, like he had just met his life-long searched for love.
"Hey, I'm not real comfortable with the way you're looking at my doughnuts," I said.
Hey looked at me with some embarassment. He had been caught.
I gave him a wide smile, and he instantly smiled back.
He was doing a good job. I wanted to stop and pull out a doughnut for him. But I figured I'd probably end up trying to do something nice, and end up getting him in trouble instead.
"Who you voting for in the Super Bowl," I asked him.
"Well if the Steelers win my Mom wins $100 in a pool at work," he said.
I hope his Mom buys him a chocolate doughnut.
After gaining about 15-pounds I've leveled off my cravings somewhat. Once I finally get off this steroid I'm certain those 15-pounds will come falling right back off. But then who knows with chemotherapy.
Right now my cravings are more for normalcy than chocolate doughnuts. I crave normal sleep patterns, normal energy levels, a normal life.
I woke up at two a.m. again last night. I tried to fall asleep for an hour, then gave up and just came downstairs and watched some middle of the night television. After writing this blog it's likely back to bed looking for a two-hour power nap. It's the way it's been.
Through January I've learned to take advantage of the times I feel best, whenever those times may arise. I try to stay busy and get as much done as possible, before I wear down and then seek rest.
It can be a balancing act. I may wake up full of energy from a nap and be ready to pull the ladder out of the basement to finish the painting in the stairwell, but then it's snowing outside and cancels out my plans. I may be ready to hang my next art project on the wall at three a.m. when hammers and drills are generally frowned upon by Barb (with understanding).
So hopefully after meeting with my oncologist this Thursday, we can make a plan to successfully back off the steroid entirely. If I remember correctly, when I do stop the steroid I'll go through a couple days of withdrawl and extreme exhaustion. It's a strong steroid.
That's my main craving right now - normalcy.
But the chocolate doughtnuts are nice too.
He was a young, pudgy fellow, likely still in high school, and he was looking at my chocolate doughnuts with longing and lust. He was looking them over closely, like he had just met his life-long searched for love.
"Hey, I'm not real comfortable with the way you're looking at my doughnuts," I said.
Hey looked at me with some embarassment. He had been caught.
I gave him a wide smile, and he instantly smiled back.
He was doing a good job. I wanted to stop and pull out a doughnut for him. But I figured I'd probably end up trying to do something nice, and end up getting him in trouble instead.
"Who you voting for in the Super Bowl," I asked him.
"Well if the Steelers win my Mom wins $100 in a pool at work," he said.
I hope his Mom buys him a chocolate doughnut.
After gaining about 15-pounds I've leveled off my cravings somewhat. Once I finally get off this steroid I'm certain those 15-pounds will come falling right back off. But then who knows with chemotherapy.
Right now my cravings are more for normalcy than chocolate doughnuts. I crave normal sleep patterns, normal energy levels, a normal life.
I woke up at two a.m. again last night. I tried to fall asleep for an hour, then gave up and just came downstairs and watched some middle of the night television. After writing this blog it's likely back to bed looking for a two-hour power nap. It's the way it's been.
Through January I've learned to take advantage of the times I feel best, whenever those times may arise. I try to stay busy and get as much done as possible, before I wear down and then seek rest.
It can be a balancing act. I may wake up full of energy from a nap and be ready to pull the ladder out of the basement to finish the painting in the stairwell, but then it's snowing outside and cancels out my plans. I may be ready to hang my next art project on the wall at three a.m. when hammers and drills are generally frowned upon by Barb (with understanding).
So hopefully after meeting with my oncologist this Thursday, we can make a plan to successfully back off the steroid entirely. If I remember correctly, when I do stop the steroid I'll go through a couple days of withdrawl and extreme exhaustion. It's a strong steroid.
That's my main craving right now - normalcy.
But the chocolate doughtnuts are nice too.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Wow! Was I Wrong
What a game last night huh?
The Super Bowl is usually a let down. But now for two-years in a row the Super Bowl was really super.
It was a very exciting game last night. I didn't watch every minute. I missed most of the third quarter. But I couldn't pull away from it in the end. It was more of a football game than I've watched all year, in more ways than one.
A big thanks to Alyssa and Charlie for inviting us to join them to watch the game, and for giving us the opportunity to visit with Charlie's family, and of course to enjoy some good food.
I'm waking up to Groundhog's Day this morning. It looks like the sun is expected to peak out enough this morning in Pennsylvania to let the varmits see their shadows (meaning a longer winter) before rain moves in later today.
Groundhog Day (shaking head) (lol)...only in America. We concluded last night that Groundhog Day is an excuse to get drunk before breakfast, then enjoy a big breakfast.
Surprisingly temperatures yesterday reached the low 50s here, helping with some more melting.
I'm still hanging in there with this winter stuff. But come about the third week of February I really start longing for Spring.
The Super Bowl is usually a let down. But now for two-years in a row the Super Bowl was really super.
It was a very exciting game last night. I didn't watch every minute. I missed most of the third quarter. But I couldn't pull away from it in the end. It was more of a football game than I've watched all year, in more ways than one.
A big thanks to Alyssa and Charlie for inviting us to join them to watch the game, and for giving us the opportunity to visit with Charlie's family, and of course to enjoy some good food.
I'm waking up to Groundhog's Day this morning. It looks like the sun is expected to peak out enough this morning in Pennsylvania to let the varmits see their shadows (meaning a longer winter) before rain moves in later today.
Groundhog Day (shaking head) (lol)...only in America. We concluded last night that Groundhog Day is an excuse to get drunk before breakfast, then enjoy a big breakfast.
Surprisingly temperatures yesterday reached the low 50s here, helping with some more melting.
I'm still hanging in there with this winter stuff. But come about the third week of February I really start longing for Spring.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Super Bore
I guess I should be embarassed to admit as an American male that I have not watched one full NFL game this year. Actually I do not think I've watched half a game.
I just can't get into it.
Professional sports and professional athletes have just become so detached from reality that I can't get into it anymore.
When I was growing up I wouldn't miss a Sixers NBA game. I'd even work my way into town to someone's house who had cable, so I could watch.
I haven't watched an NBA game for years. I guess I was done a few years ago when one NBA player turned down $20 million stating, "Hey! I have a family to feed!"
Barb and I are planning on attending a Super Bowl party today. Alyssa and Charlie are planning a little gathering. I'll be honest. I'm in it for the family, friends, and food, not the football.
I guess I'm voting for Pittsburgh. Hey it's still Pennsylvania. And I respect the tough, blue collar reputation of the "Steel City." Although I'm not going to lose any sleep over the game no matter who wins.
I'm sure I won't make it through the whole game tonight either. My goal is to get to half time, watch Bruce Springsteen, and get back to Marietta with a full belly.
I just can't get into it.
Professional sports and professional athletes have just become so detached from reality that I can't get into it anymore.
When I was growing up I wouldn't miss a Sixers NBA game. I'd even work my way into town to someone's house who had cable, so I could watch.
I haven't watched an NBA game for years. I guess I was done a few years ago when one NBA player turned down $20 million stating, "Hey! I have a family to feed!"
Barb and I are planning on attending a Super Bowl party today. Alyssa and Charlie are planning a little gathering. I'll be honest. I'm in it for the family, friends, and food, not the football.
I guess I'm voting for Pittsburgh. Hey it's still Pennsylvania. And I respect the tough, blue collar reputation of the "Steel City." Although I'm not going to lose any sleep over the game no matter who wins.
I'm sure I won't make it through the whole game tonight either. My goal is to get to half time, watch Bruce Springsteen, and get back to Marietta with a full belly.
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