Deep in the Leaves

Sunrise on top of Chiques Rock, overlooking the Susquehanna River, just outside of Marietta.


The first of many leaf pick-ups is tomorrow in Marietta. I'd estimate that we have about 14 giant bags of leaves. My personal record is just over 20 bags in one session.

In the past, leaf raking was solely my responsibility and I spent many, many hours cleaning up the yard each Fall. The one thing I've enjoyed this Fall is that Barb and I do everything together. I enjoy working with Barb. I think we make a great team.

Yesterday we took turns raking the yard, switching off whenever we got winded. Now we have a giant pile of wet leaves waiting for both of us to bag today.

The physical work, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is invigorating and makes me feel great - as long as I don't overdue it. But regardless of how good the physical exercise makes me feel while I'm working, afterwords it's pretty much a guarantee that I'll be exhausted. But as long as I keep at it, my endurance seems to improve a little bit with each and every effort.

We want to make an effort to take more photographs, and post them on the blog. Even if we're not surrounded by exciting material to photograph, we're hoping that creativity can overcome the lack of opportunities.

I must say though, that everytime I see a photograph of myself these days I just end up filing it. I'm not a very vain person . . . but I barely recognize myself in a photo these days.

Yesterday we drove up to the top of Chiques Rock at sunrise and took a few photographs (one of which is above). It was a very brisk morning, with frost on the ground. The sun behind us lit up the hillside on the other side of the river, and morning mist floated low to the ground.

We'll see what we can come up with for tomorrow!

Just Can't Think About It Everyday

Between all of the medications and their side effects, it's impossible to not think about cancer each and every day.

But I don't make it a point to really sit down and think about cancer everyday. It would drive me crazy. I think survivors should do their best to just get out and live every day.

It is definitely valuable to take an active interest in your own illness and your own care. Without a doubt, cancer patients need to be involved in their care and treatment. Sometimes you just need to sit down and scour reports, scour the internet, talk to doctors and nurses and other patients. You can't wait on the medical community to take the initiative, you have to take your own.

But you just can't do it everyday. Some cancer patients do.

Cancer is frightening. But, it is no more frightening than life in general.

In everything there is positive and negative, even with cancer. I think it's important to approach each day, each week, each month, with balance.

It's still important for me to research available drugs (a new one for kidney cancer has just become available), research side effects of treatments, talk to other patients and share experiences. A lot of that can become very serious in content.

But it's still important also to chase Freckles around the house, work on the house, draw and take photos, spend time with family and friends.

Like this blog, somedays I need to address the cancer, and somedays I need to talk about something completely different, hopefully even something silly.

Little of This, Little of That

The temperature is supposed to drop to 35-degrees tonight, with widespread frost.

Is it just me, or has the delay of daylight savings time made it seem like the sun is rising these days around noon?

Barb has finished painting in the second bathroom - yellow and sage. The gals have painted that side of the house, on the second floor - purple, pink, peach, yellow and sage - when I wasn't looking.

LOL I'm not the kind to have to control everything. It's not the colors I would have picked out (especially the pink), but anyone who resides here should influence, and will influence, the style of the house.

Plus it looks pretty good. Well, ok, everything but the pink. LOL

Now we'll jump in there for some overhead light replacements and repairs.

Hopefully Barb will be singing to the radio in her second bathroom again soon!

Thanks to those that have sent in some poultry and fish recipes. I've fully returned to the kitchen and am running all burners. I've always loved to cook, because I've always loved to eat.

It's a little strange to have to worry about what I eat. For example, I still crave the sweet sausage sandwich from the deli across the street (only made on occasion) smothered in onions and peppers - but my body is just not too fond of it anymore. So I can crave it, but I can't have it.

Now it's chicken and turkey and fish and shellfish, and quite frankly I've always done a lot more with beef then I have with poultry and fish. So any recipes? I'm interested.

The Red Sox won. Penn State lost. And Newcastle United looked miserable in defeat in the English soccer league. Let's not talk about it.

Halloween has taken over Marietta. A lit ghost (quite well done) has taken its annual perch above Shank's Tavern. The haunted decorations abound throughout town. Soon the little trick-or-treaters will be rambling through the streets. Halloween gives me the chance to wear my "World's Biggest Afro" wig. You've got to like that.

But give me Thanksgiving, and it will be here before we know it. Thanksgiving is the best - all of the family, all of the friends, all of the food, and none of the presents!

Killers Inside

I take two chemo pills in the morning and two in the evening. The chemo seeks out cancer growth areas and tries to suffocate those areas' blood supply. Cancer growth areas typically use more blood and exhibit certain chemical profiles. But the chemo cannot perfectly distinquish between cancer areas and regular areas. So sometimes regular areas get attacked too.

It's an interesting lottery draw each day. The chemo adds an unpredictable pit bull inside you, and you never know from day-to-day what mood the pit bull is going to be in, or what he may or may not be attacking on this day.

Taking chemo, in general, and at the least, makes you feel like you have a little touch of the flu each day. You walk a little slower, react a little slower, feel a little sluggish, ache a little bit here and there.

The recent oral forms of chemotherapy have many advantages. You can take it in the convenience of your home rather than visiting the hospital once-a-week for the IV. The side effects are generally less than many IV treatments.

But...the IV treatments always have an end. The oral chemotherapy never stops. Once you're on this type of chemotherapy you're on it for good, or until it stops working.

I'm learning to deal with it. The exercising is off to a slow, but steady start, and it helps continue to build my energy. But occasionally the chemo will call for a timeout, a nap, and the chemo can be very convincing.

We've controlled any blistering and soreness that often breaks out in the hands and feet. The feet get covered in Aquaphor every morning and that seems to do the trick.

And with enough of the right medications each day and the right foods, the digestive track is generally staying calm and reacting in a more expected manner.

The chemo definitely lets loose the little killers inside.

I wonder what they're attacking right now?

Enjoying Doing More

Freckles is lying on his back swatting at a toy mouse on a string when suddenly he jumps to his feet in one move and takes off running through the kitchen, sliding around a turn into the studio, and eventually through the dining room and into the front office.

What would people think of me if I just suddenly jumped to my feet and started running? lol

Freckles' back is covered with clumped hair that exactly resembles lucky rabbits' feet. They've just started to fall now. He'll be in for a few more weeks of this odd annual shedding. The clumps make him so uncomfortable but you don't dare try to help him out and pull one or two off - he'll turn on 'ya.

The bright red and orange leaves are falling faster from the old grand Oak tree. The tree itself, if you laid it on its side, would be as large as our entire backyard. It will fill our yard in a sea of leaves.

After 8-weeks of no measurable rainfall we're now getting a good soaking. The rain has been steady through yesterday and continues this morning, and will continue through the weekend. The temperatures are ranging from the 40s to the 60s, keeping conditions fairly raw.

Barb and I are going to pop across the river this morning for breakfast at John Wright, in Wrightsville. We'll be meeting Barb's mother, sister, and daughter. I feel like I'm breaking into a secret meeting of the matriarchs - heeheehee. We'll enjoy a nice start to a rainy Friday, and I'll return full from breakfast ham and home fries.

Barb has almost finished painting the second bathroom, and really only has touch-ups to go. We need to get back out shopping so I can install a ceiling light and repair another. But the furniture will be going in soon. And the soap and shampoo can't be far behind.

If I can find where I left my tile nippers (I'm still organizing the basement) I can start the tiling in the master bathroom today. I just have one small area around the tub left and then that room is finished.

Everyday I try to keep pushing myself more and more. I know when to back off. But keeping busy even in the smallest of ways seems to help build more and more energy day-by-day.

Let's Talk

Live your life while you can,
take each day a time,
don't take for granted the ones you love,
and return to those in kind.

Do with your life as you choose,
no once else should make that decision.
Listen to the advice of others,
for most of will come from our mothers.

Find enrichment in everything you do,
don't let anyone take that from you.
Have a heart full of laughter,
don't hold a grudge until the morning after.

Keep your faith don't miss a beat,
and give all the love that you can,
every day, wherever and whenever you can.
Be kind to those deserving,
don't let things become unnerving.

Try and always keep a smile,
even in the tough times,
it's worth the while.

Field of Dreams

I don't really remember my first experience with baseball. It was something that was just always there.

Wiffle ball was an early baseball experience. My Dad would come out and see us playing wiffle ball right next to the house.

"I have seven acres here," he would say. "Why do you play right next to the house?"

"The wall of the house is the Green Monster of Fenway Park," I'd answer. Jeesh, lol, isn't that obvious?

When my cousin and I were young we'd go up to the legion fields to watch his brother play baseball. His brother was a good pitcher, a real good pitcher. In all honesty though, we never watched a whole lot of the games. We chased foul balls so we could turn them in to the dugout for a nickel. We had a little enterprise going.

I played baseball until I was 16. I believe that took me to end of junior legion ball. Baseball has always been part of my life, but it was not my best sport. Basketball and soccer began to take more and more precedence over baseball.

I was a pretty good third baseman. But wherever I played there always seemed to be a third baseman already in place. I was a pretty good pitcher too. But that job always seemed to go to the coach's sons. So I seemed to always end up in the outfield, which is an interesting position for a guy who really can't judge a fly ball.

But the reality is I can't hit a breaking ball either - even in wiffle ball.

So for baseball I became a fan, someone who waits to hear Harry Kalas' voice every Spring.

But I'll still have tons of fond memories of playing baseball. One of my favorites is just going out in the yard with my Dad to have him hit me fly balls. When I was little, no one could hit fly balls higher than my Dad. He could hit them so high!

The World Series, of course, starts tonight. I'll miss a considerable bit of it since most of it occurs after my bedtime. But it will spark the imaginations of hundreds of others of little guys out there. And they'll turn spaces you couldn't imagine playing wiffle ball in into Fenway Park, complete with the Green Monster.

Where's the Beef?

I've been quickly learning what foods my body is accepting, and which it is rejecting. Generally speaking what's working is comfort foods, made with fresh ingredients, and a lot of love.

About a year ago I was on a photo assignment to take some fine dining photographs and ran into the chef who used to own the Railroad House in Marietta. The Railroad House is about a quarter-mile walk from our house. When we first moved to town we stopped by a couple of times. It's housed in a very historic, and very well cared for building next to the railroad tracks.

The Railroad House was very impressive because of this former owner. His food was above any expectation.... shrimp champagne bisque, steak diane. He blew me away. It was quite a loss to town when he and his wife sold the place.

I had to ask him why he sold it.

His wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. With her ongoing treatments the Railroad House just became too much for them to handle.

I, of course, told him how sorry I was to hear that, and offered him my support.

We talked further of food and he told me how he's given up beef.

"Given up beef," I exclaimed. No steak diane???

Because of his wife's treatments, he explained, all she can eat is chicken.

I must have made a little face. He quickly said, "I can do a thousand things with chicken."

I agreed. He probably could do a thousand things with chicken.

But I can't do a thousand things with chicken. And now I know exactly what this chef was talking about.

For me right now, it's very little beef and only in small portions. Primarily I'm going with the poultry and the fish. Dairy and tomatoes the body also isn't accepting right now.

So since I only know about six things to do with chicken, and not a thousand. I need some good chicken recipes. Anyone have any?

Little Less Talking a Little More Action

I've spent the past few months thinking about all of the great things I wanted to do around the house.

There are the back decks which sorely need to be rebuilt. We want to replace the ground level deck with pavers.

There are the two small roofs which we like to have redone to match the large overall roof, which was recently done.

There is the small walkway between houses in the back where painting has to be finished, and some repairs done on some planks of the cedar siding and up along the eaves.

There are gutters that need to be cleaned.

A window in the front of the house needs to be installed.

The front doors must be fixed up with new hardware and painted.

I have a bit of tumbled marble tile to set in the master bathroom, and then that room can be checked off the list.

The entire basement needs to be taken to a yard sale or to a dump. Whatever is leftover needs to be organized and made sense of.

The backyard needs a Fall once over to prepare for Winter.

And then we just want to redo three living areas, one office area, two upstairs bedrooms and the laundry room, oh yeah, and the kitchen and the sunroom.

Now that I'm feeling like getting up and about, it's time for me to stop thinking and talking about all of these things, and it's time for me to start actually doing something about them.

It can be pretty boring stuff. But I guess it depends on the way you look at it. I take great joy in sitting back at the end of the day and looking back at what I've accomplished.

Now if I could just figure out where to start!

Typical Saturday

Well today consisted of more painting and the normal Saturday phone conversation with my mother. From what I understand, my nieces had a day loaded with basketball events at Cumberland Valley, so I certainly hope that all is going well.

I guess because we live as close as we do to the river, we get what I would consider more bugs including spiders than the average person, so Jim decided to somewhat attack the areas around the doors in which they tend to hang out. I cannot stand spiders, just the sight of them gives me the creeps.

Charlie and Alyssa of course came by last evening and they are doing very well. They had the proofs from the day of there wedding and they all had turned out very well. I am looking forward to be able to get the pictures I decide to choose.

It had been a busy week with some of Jim's appointments, but what a relief that things are on the up swing. I will continue to send out my thoughts and prayers to my uncle that is laid up in the hospital recovering from major surgery. I hope for as much of speedy recovery as possible. I hope he keeps in mind how much people care and only want what is best for him.

Time Truly Doesn't Stand Still

When Barb and I spent a week on the Outer Banks of North Carolina I was anxious to show her a restaurant I had discovered on my very first trip to the Outer Banks, when I was 19 or 20-years-old.

I had been visiting with Rhea and Muk along the Eastern Shore of Virginia one summer. Scouring maps of the area I noticed a small strip of islands along the North Carolina coast and planned a day trip.

I landed in South Nags Head and spent the day on the beach. I had found my home. The Outer Banks was unspoiled, dunes still intact, wide open spaces, areas of beach where you're virtually alone. This visit spurred annual pilgrimages back to the Outer Banks for years to come.

After a great day on the beach, salty, sunbaked, and starving I looked for a place for a good meal before heading back north. It was a pretty good drive, a little more than 3 hours.

Just across the one main road that splits South Nags Head I saw a restaurant called "Penquin Isle." It looked pretty nice. I drove across the main road, parked and walked toward the restaurant. The closer I got the more I was worried that this was a nice place, a really nice place - and I was not exactly dressed for this establishment.

Through the front door it was obvious that I was not dressed appropriately. A hostess approached me immediately in high heels and a pretty fancy dress. I asked to see a menu, wanting to know more about what I was getting myself into. The restaurant had a great menu, a little expensive. But it wasn't outrageous and everything looked great.

The hostess came back and asked me "Have you decided?"

I pointed to my clothing and made a face. I was wearing my infamous cut-off denim shorts, still very wet from a day of swimming, covered in cartoons I drew on them in various colors of Sharpie marker. I combined this with a new t-shirt I had bought earlier from Bert's Surf Shop. And I finished off with indoor soccer sneakers with no socks and the shoelaces untied.

She waived her hand and said, "Oh you're fine. This is the beach."

I was incredibly impressed. Dorothy we're not in Pennsylvania.

Penquin Isle sits on the soundfront and every night shows off an incredible sunset. The grill is powered by real mesquite wood chips that tower in a pile outside the restaurant discreetly along one side. Linen tablecloths, many utensils, candlelight, it's all there.

I had Beef Oscar. At that time it was one of the most incredible meals I've ever eaten. The mesquite taste in the filet was nicely evident. Jumbo lump crab meat tumbled over the top of the filet. Asparagus spears dotted the perimeter of the plate. And the masterpiece was finished with a teasing amount of hollandaise sauce. I don't even remember if there was a dessert.

When I got up to leave I was as content as content could be. I turned around to push my chair into the table and to my horror I noticed a wet spot on the upholstered chair from my wet shorts. Blushing I pushed my chair in and jumped in the Volkswagen Rabbit to head back to Rhea and Muk's in Virginia.

Twenty years later I wanted Barb to experience Penquin Isle. On the Outer Banks for a week I called and made reservations for sunset.

When I pulled into the parking lot I noticed that the mesquite pile was gone. Approaching the restaurant everything looked a little run down and in need of a coat of paint.

Entering Penquin Isle everything looked just like I remembered it. Everything was exactly as it was 20-years ago, and everything looked 20-years-old, worn out and dusty.

The food was average at best. I left disappointed.

I had really built the place up to Barb. She was very understanding though.

I learned that you can't hold time still, that even your favorite things continue to change and evolve.

Time to Take a Few Months Off

Based on the positive results of the MRI earlier this week, we anticipated a fairly uneventful appointment with my oncologist today. Those are the best appointments - the uneventful ones - and the visit lived up to our expectations.

With the second round of tests completed since the end of radiation treatments, our plan is now to take three months off and then repeat the tests.

I've had AT LEAST one doctor's appointment a month since February. Three months off? WOOHOO!

We reviewed my MRI. As it was reported to us earlier in the week, everything looks good. I could certainly look for more extensive anaylsis from my nuerosurgeon but we all agreed that it wouldn't be necessary. A good report from the radiologist is a good report.

The first thing the oncologist said to me was "You lost weight." I weighed in at 194-pounds. That is my lowest point yet. I haven't weighed less than 200-pounds since high school. The doctor was glad to hear that I took it upon myself to up the amount of drugs that I take to control the digestive problems caused by the chemotherapy drug.

I am eating, and eating pretty well. I can't do really large dinners like I once could. But the portions I'm eating are of pretty decent size. I'm also exercising. So as long as I'm able to continue to control the digestive woes, I'm confident I'll be able to keep the weight stable, if not gain a few pounds.

All the lab tests on my blood work looked real good.

We discussed a few of the continuing ongoing effects of both the radiation treatments and the chemotherapy. Nothing serious, just some of the same old side effects that make cancer treatment so much fun.

So...I'm going to keep eating, keep exercising, and keep working to improve my day-to-day strength and general health. I'll keep working toward being more and more involved and busy. There's lots to do always around this old house. And it's time to get the artistic and creative needs satisfied again.

Woohoo! Three months off!!!

Prayers Answered and Passed Along

We'd like to thank everyone for their continued prayers and support. We have really felt the power and strength of all of you all around us as we've continued to fight this cancer. Yesterday's test results, I truly believe, are the result of the combined efforts of all of you. Thank you so much!

We didn't spend much time celebrating though yesterday . . .

First we got news that someone who Barb and I had worked with had lost his son. At 22 he had passed away from a heart condition. Our thoughts are with their whole family.

We were glad to hear news that Barb's Uncle had come through surgery to remove his lung because of cancer. We know that he'll have a difficult rehabilitation to go through and our thoughts are with him as he begins this journey.

Also, Barb's young nephew is fighting some early signs of asthma and experiencing some breathing problems (a tough thing for a two-year old). Our thoughts are with him and his parents as they continue to work to control and learn to live with this condition.

People often ask me how I keep such a positive attitude while I'm going through so much. There are lots of reasons, including the simple fact that a negative approach is of no help to me or anyone. But I am always thinking about all of the difficulties in the world, all of the suffering, all of the anquish. And in that light - what do I really have to complain about?

I believe I mentioned before that I really never pray for relief of my own malodies (it just doesn't feel right). So I pray for others, for strangers, for all those who are hurting. In turn I've been blessed by so many prayers from all of you. Thank you!

Woohoo!

We just got word from the oncologist on my brain MRI and everything is good. One of the nurses called and read Barb the summary of the report and there was talk of "no evidence of former nodules (tumors)." So woohoo!

Now We Wait

I had an MRI of the brain yesterday. It's a scheduled follow-up to the radiation treatments. I had my first follow-up MRI in July. At that time all the tumors had shrunk or disappeared except for two. Those two tumors were stable, the same size as they had been previously.

We should get the results of this MRI either tomorrow or at the latest on Thursday. I have no reason to be anything but positive. Anxiety is not going to get me anywhere.

The MRI went smooth. It's at least the sixth MRI I've had this year, so I'm an old pro at it. I listened to 30 minutes of Frank Sinatra's greatest hits, and it was over.

Freckles decided he wanted to "play" last night and suddenly attacked my hand (with little notice as usual) and he left me with a nice 2-inch scratch. I tried to snub him this morning, but he doesn't understand or remember. So I gave him fresh food and water this morning, but without the typical friendly social interaction we typically share. (shrugging shoulders) What are you going to do? He got scolded last night. But five minutes later he doesn't even remember. It's good to be a cat.

Today is back to business as usual. Barb's diving back into her bathroom renovation. I'm diving back into cleaning and organizing the basement. I've started a daily exercise regimen now and am dedicated to sticking with it. Soon I might even be as strong and fit as Barb!

I Don't Get It

I'm not the sharpest tack in the box...but there are a few things that I just don't understand.

Volatility of Gas Prices
Gasoline is likely the largest consumable product on Earth. The supply chain has got to be huge. And the supply chain must be pretty solid. I've never stopped at a gas station to find that they've run out. Obviously the supply of gasoline is solid enough to daily meet such a huge global demand.

So how can such a solid, huge, consistent supply channel be so volatile?

We're told that the supply is volatile. The prices jump around as if the supply may run out at any moment. This morning in the news it was reported that gas prices were going up over fears of a cold winter.

Hmmmmmm. To me that sounds like someone trying to tell me that milk prices are going up because of fears of grumpy cows.

Anyone else have the feeling we're just being toyed with?

11,245 News Outlets, One Story
It amazes me that no matter where I turn for my news, it's the same news, in every newspaper, magazine, tv channel, radio, internet.

Our great "Democracy" with its privilege of free speech somehow has been converted to a nation of one voice.

If one of the major media outlets decides to run a story about a gal who got a lizard stuck in her nose...then that story is picked up by everyone else.

Our potential diversity of thoughts and ideas and expressions has been consolidated down to a single voice and I just don't get it.

Super Sensitive Stock Market
One thing that I really don't get is our super sensitive stock market. It amazes me that the market seems to so often shift as a whole, when there is such a diversity of interests.

And the market shifts on a whim - a report that pork belly supplies are down and next thing you know technology stocks are plunging. It's like we have a few gypsys looking into crystal balls and based on what they see the whole market changes.

If a company is doing well, it's doing well. The effect of the overall climate should have an effect, but not dominate an individual companies' value. But it does.

I don't get it.

Scratching Head
Like I said, I'm not the sharpest tack in the box. But I do think that all of these things have one thing in common - consolidation. For business purposes diverse entities are consolidated into a few giant entities. Once the diversity is lost the giant entities can easily manipulate the environment in the sole interest of the greatest profit.

Well just put a little extra money aside, I've heard that a recent decline in hot dog sales is going to increase oil prices and cause the stock market to decline. I just saw the same forecast on every single news channel.

Somewhere In Between

Weeks ago I thought ahead to a day when I would feel "almost" normal. I figured there would probably come a day when I almost felt like my old self again - but not quite. And I figured that the "not quite" would be frustrating.

Well, that day is here.

I think back through the summer and what I've gone through, and there is no question that I feel much better now.

But, at the same time, I'm not exactly my old self yet either.

The radiation left my brain injured, like having a serious concussion, but worse. That is all so much better now, but not completely gone. A bit of "fog" is still there.

And it's frustrating, I'd like to kick that little leftover fog away.

This summer it was easy to practice patience. When you're so severely injured the choice to just simply rest seems rather obvious.

But now I'm starting to exercise and feeling more ready to get going and get some things done everyday. So it can be a little frustrating to still deal with the "fog" and the fatique from all of the medications. I think all my medications have a sticker that says "May cause drowsiness." Add all those up! lol

So now is the time when it is possible for me to overdue it, push a little too much, not be patient. But Barb often reminds me.

The last time I visited my family physician in describing something I said ". . . when I was trimming the trees in the backyard . . ." I'll never forget how large his eyes got the moment I said that, and then he smiled. Trimming trees probably wasn't something he felt I was up to yet.

I was never the smartest guy on the block, nor the most talented. But I give everything everything I've got.

One quick note - I continue to think that my oncologist appointment this week is on Wednesday and it's actually on Thursday. We'll probably call in for Monday's MRI results late Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday morning. I'm not sure if we're going to be able to interpret it without the doctor. We'll see.

That Tingling Feeling

After weeks and weeks of digestive problems and losing weight, I loaded up on medications and finally the past three days have enjoyed normal digestion. The simplest things, things that a typical person would take for granted, can make you so ecstatic when you're dealing with something like cancer.

For the first time in months, I've actually gained weight - two-pounds over the past three days.

Experience has taught me that the typical medicine prescription is usually a little less than I need because of my size. I try to follow doctor's orders, but inevitably upping the amount of medicine I take a little bit always does the trick. It's not easy being a giant.

Stabilizing the digestive system and my weight has been priority one. And with that seemingly underway, I've begun focusing on the next assignment which is exercise and fitness. I started basic exercises (sit-ups, push-ups, deep knee bends, arm weights, etc.) this week. I have to go at it every other day because the exercises are leaving the muscles incredibly sore. No pity there though, that's good pain that adds up to progress.

Beyond fitness and nutrition there are only two small things that I continue to work to rehabilitate.

First the tumors in the brain, and then the radiation treatments themselves, caused different levels of brain swelling that left me feeling like I was in a bit of a fog. Since the radiation this feeling has continued to slowly improve, and I've continued to feel sharper and sharper. But there's is still occassionally some fogginess that I deal with, but it is so much better than it had been.

And lastly, over the past few weeks I have developed slight nerve tingling when I bend my neck down, my chin towards my chest. I don't completely understand this one but we'll be inquiring to the oncologist next week.

The tingles only last for a second. They originate in my neck and sometimes shoot down my arms, sometimes shoot down my torso, and sometimes shoot through to my legs. Sometimes the tingle is felt in all of those locations. Oddly enough, the tingling is most noticeable when I look down while eating.

There is no pain. The sensation always only lasts for a second. And sometimes when I look down I do not feel the sensation at all.

From what I understand there are so many possible causes of this that it could be difficult to trace. I've gone through so many little odd things like this though that it could just be another side effect that comes and goes.

We'll have lots of updates come next week. And hopefully we'll have all good reports and can ignore the cancer for awhile.

Then we can blog about Freckles instead.

Things Around The House Day

Well today was the day to remove air conditioners. My parents came over to assist, which we certainly appreciated all there help. Two of the air conditioners are BIG beasts. It has been one of those days that it was kind of blah outside but the sun has finally shown up, however it is still much cooler outside.

I have to give special wishes to my Uncle Larry whom has lung cancer and by his own personal choice will be going through surgery. I know that all I want is to see him back on his feet again and a quick recovery. I give them all my love and most sincere thoughts as the family goes through this.

On somewhat of a brighter note, my parents will be leaving for a few days of vacation time, which is well deserved. They are going to West Virginia to enjoy the Greenbrier and I am sure that they will have all kinds of things to talk about upon there return.

I am also to understand that my nephew Ellis is in love with a young lady at his school, he is starting at a young age, but we are also talking about the son of my sister, HAHAHA!!! (if you knew my sister you would know what I am talking about) just kidding it was meant just a cute gesture.

The Un-Official Last Day of Summer

Summer stayed with us longer than usual this year. Here, well into October and we still have temperatures in the 80s. But I think this evening that's coming to an end for good and we can start preparing to bundle up a bit more.

Next week I look for a good start to the new season. I have an MRI of the brain scheduled for Monday. It will be the second MRI of the brain since the radiation treatments ended. We'll get the results come Wednesday when we'll meet with the oncologist.

The digestion has been especially unkind the past four or five days, and I've dropped another pound or two or three because of it. That didn't make me particularly happy. But I've upped my one medication a bit and it seems to be doing the trick.

It's such a balancing act.

As my one oncologist said, "As long as you're suffering from the side effects then we know the (chemo) drug is working."

Great! LOL

The eating has been good. It seems that smaller portions than usual are in order for me though. The stomach only seems to want to handle so much at one time. I've been trying to eat six small meals a day, which is no easy task. But my appetite is good.

Well Fall is in the air. Leaves are on the ground. I'm looking forward to starting a new season.

With The Love Of Your Family

With the love of your family,
there is nothing you cannot do.
It is always there when you need it most,
that is why this blog, I need to post.

You need them and they need you,
it always helps to manage get you through.
The hope that a family allows you to see,
that is always where I want to be.

Always remember if you are feeling low,
there is always the family place to go.
Thanks to those of you that I love and care for,
and I will always continue to give more.

Greed is Our Downfall

Working as a lead graphic designer and art director all these years I've often worked directly with owners of companies of all sizes. Since my work involved building the image and brand of the company and its product the owners were always very interested in my work, which gave me unique insights into how they worked.

Many of these men and women were very wealthy, very powerful people. Their monthly salaries would outweigh my annual salary. I'm not talking about hard-working people who made a good life for themselves. I'm talking extraordinarily wealthy.

If you asked me what one characteristic all of these very wealthy, very powerful people had in common, I would say, they all would push their grandmother in front of a bus for a dollar. Really.

I'll always remember my Uncle taking me for a ride on his sailboat on the Eastern Shore of Virginia. As we moved down the "creek" he lived along toward the Chesapeake Bay my Uncle caught me staring at an unbelievable mansion across the "creek." The mansion had three huge garages built along the water for massive boats. Catching me staring at the property my Uncle said to me, "You know Jim...there is no way you can live an honest life and make THAT much money."

I've never forgotten that. And, for me, it's proved true.

The years of experiences has taught me that to become unbelievably rich you had to also be unbelievably cold-blooded, ruthless, and just plain downright mean. I very comfortably concluded quite sometime ago, that rich was not something I wanted to be.

Sure, not every zillionaire is cold-blooded. There's exceptions to everything. But I've yet to meet one who didn't cheat, lie, and steal as part of their normal daily routine. I have very specific stories and examples that would without a doubt disturb you, as they disturbed me.

This may sound harsh, but I do believe greed is the biggest and most harmful disease in this country.

Do I really need a full-size indoor basketball court? How about a $200,000 car? How about seven $200,000 cars? Should I build my own personal amusement park while people are struggling to feed their kids?

The owner of the Boston Red Sox is considering buying an $18 million mansion. His plans are to tear it down completely and build a new mansion to his custom specs.

Greed.

And now the subprime mortgage crisis. We've all watched the housing industry escalate costs at incredible rates and margins. Costs of housing as risen so dramatically across the past decade it was almost as if those in charge were tempting fate. As many in the housing industry itself will admit, the current crisis is a necessary self-correction of an industry that grew out-of-control with greed. I watched simple townhouses double in price in just over five-years.

Enough of my soapbox for today.

I believe in having a nice house, a nice car, a nice life for yourself that is well-earned and deserved. But how much does anyone really need?

As Bruce Springsteen said recently, "I know George Bush has structured taxes to benefit the rich. I'm rich. And I've never done better."

Random Thoughts

The Phillies played in the shadows of the New York Mets all year. They stepped out of the shadow into the spotlight on the 162nd game of the season. They didn't fare too well in the spotlight.

They put together a competitive team that was always fun to watch. I expect a lot of new faces in the pitching staff next year. And we'll go at it again.

Now who are we voting for?

Rasta Freckles meanwhile is shedding lots of large clumps of hair. It's a daily battle to keep up with the cat hair tumbleweeds rolling through the kitchen and living room. You can follow the groupings of hair clumps to learn which areas of the house Freckles most frequents.

Good 'ol Freckles, he's just laying by the back screen door secretly stalking the squirrels chasing each other in the yard, and the birds who land on the back porch. He'll study them in pounce position, not making a sound.

Barb has woke up and fell right into the kitchen this morning, making a big batch of chicken pot pie to try to fatten me up. She won't be happy until she puts 10 more pounds on me. I kinda' agree with her, but am hoping that the 10-pounds can come in muscle mass from exercising rather than 10-pounds in chicken pot pie weight.

But I do have to keep eating. It's a constant battle. Somedays are great. Some are terrible. Some foods go well. Some just don't. I've got a feeling that chicken pot pie is going to go just great. The smell is already filling the house and is going to be working up an appetite for both Freckles and I.

Alyssa and Charlie visited last evening, both still half in the Carribean and half back in Pennsylvania, both tanned and sun-baked. It was great to have them both home safe and sound. They were already talking about next year's planned trip to Disney World, and a future trip to the Caribbean.

It's a beautiful Sunday morning. Maybe I'll join Freckles at the back screen door watching the birds and squirrels.

Some Updates

Just wanted to follow-up on a few recent blogs today. I'm sitting down for a bit after a window and plantation blind cleaning session (man did they need it). Barb just jumped out of the second bathroom covered in paint. Yesterday she was covered in drywall dust. (I really should have had my camera ready!) I really am in awe and of great respect with how she's going at the renovation of that bathroom.

And speaking of Barb...her attempt at making the world's greatest pecan pie fell just short. She made the second best pecan pie of all-time. The only problem, by her own admitance, was the crust was too thick. Other than that...well all I have to say is the pie is gone. Yummy. Barb is already planning her second attempt. She did pretty outstanding for her first pecan pie ever.

And then there is Freckles the cat. He's in full shed right now, which at this point means he has giant clumps of hair hanging off him. The clumps of hair resemble rabbit's feet. You can tell that Freckles is very uncomfortable with all of this, and petting him in the wrong spot hurts him and leads to a quick snarl. As the clumps begin to fall off, Barb and I will begin to suddenly find little "rabbit's feet" laying around the house. In the meantime Freckles is still sporting the dred locks.

I continue to feel better, while at the same time continue to manage side effects from both radiation and chemotherapy. One funky little thing about radiation is side effects can often show up months, even years, after treatment has ended.

The "kids" are back from their honeymoon in the Caribbean. They arrived late last night and are now recovering from jet lag and in general having way too much fun. They'll have to transition back into the work-a-day world. Welcome back Alyssa and Charlie!

That's the latest from here. I hope everyone out there is well.

Chugging Along

We have plenty going on around here but nothing of great excitement. I seem to have a new ailment every week to deal with (part of the recovery process it seems) and with Fall nearby we've filled our schedule with house projects to finish before the cold of Winter sets in.

As I've recovered from the radiation treatments I've had various health issues to deal with - most of them minor, some of them strange. For one two-week period I occassionally felt like I was stepping in something wet (shrugging shoulders), although there was nothing wet I was stepping in. For another two-week period the muscles that controlled my eye movements became very sore.

There has been all kinds of things. And all of them have come and then they have gone. This week's ailment-du-jour is a quick tingle that shoots down my arms and into my hands, and sometimes down my back into my legs. Primarily I feel the tingle when I'm active or when I look down, touching my chin to my chest. Who knows? This too feels like it's getting better and probably by next week will also be gone. It's all kind of strange.

Overall, things keep getting better. But it's such a slow process. I thought the recovery from two cracked ribs and pneumonia took a long time...whew!

As the oncologist told me, my main assignment right now is nutrition and fitness and that's what I'm focusing on.

As far as projects around the house - we've got plenty. This old house, of course, does not have central air conditioning. But we do have five air conditioning units, two of which weigh at least two million pounds. So we're making plans on calling in reserves to help us get those back out.

We're reorganizing and cleaning the basement, which has meant lots of extra trash each week. All the plantation blinds in the house sorely need cleaned. Barb has started a complete renovation of the second bathroom. And after the second bathroom we'll be moving on with plans to refinish other rooms in the house.

All the little projects help my general fitness and help fight the overall fatique.

All work will stop come 3 p.m. today though. I've successfully converted Barb into a Phillies fan, and we'll be parked in front of the TV come 3 p.m. today to root on the Phillies in their first playoff game.

I have a longtime attachment to the Phillies. All growing up I would fall asleep each summer night listening to Harry Kalas call the Phillies games on the radio. To this day, when I first hear Harry's voice I know it's Spring and Summer will soon be here.

Project Time

Well to me this a good time to begin projects that you don't care to do during the summer months because it's just to darn nice outside. Anyway, I'm going to get started on our guest bathroom with all the necessary scraping, painting and such. I will be anxious to see it's apearance when it's done.

We picked up the necessary items to begin and add from there with the decorum. I really don't have much else to type about at the moment. Once my daughter and her husband return from their honeymoon, I am sure there will be further things to talk about with the adventures they had.

I hope Jim continues on his way back to feeling well and I will continue writing about that as the good things continue to take place.