Tough Decisions

I've been following my Dad's progress as closely as I can. It's a tough time for the family. It's been a tough time for my Mom.

On one hand, we all want to see my Dad come back home. On the other hand, we all want to ensure that he's safe. As in everything in life there are pluses and minuses on both sides.

My Dad did try to get up from his wheelchair two-days ago and fell again. He was alright. But the number of his falls in recent times tells us that there will be more falls to come. He still refuses to use a walker or even a cane. With his memory problems I'm not even sure that he remembers his falls. Possibly if he remembered these falls he would be more apt to use the walker or the cane.

The memory issues are unique. My Dad is fixated on his career - accounting. He often asks for his papers. He asks for his wallet. He asks to go to the post office. He trys to call meetings to discuss non-existent financial issues. It's all very peculiar. The mind is a marvel that we're far from understanding.

It's hard for all of us because we all know who my Dad truly is, and always has been, and it's not what he is now. He's a rock, a constant calm among any storm, someone who is wise and witty, and someone who could always be depended upon.

Now it's our turn to take care of him.

But where is the best place for my Dad?

If he comes home will he start cooking something on the stove and forget about it? It's happened already. Will he take it upon himself to burn trash and almost set the yard on fire? It's happened already. Will he take another fall and injure himself. Inevitably it will happen.

Alone with my Mom is it even conceivable that she could track him night and day making sure that every move of his is watched? She would never be able to sleep again.

At Spang Crest they have a full staff of trained nurses. They have my Dad rigged with alarms so if he tries to get up and start walking around without supervision the staff is alerted immediately. They have doctors to regularly check up on him.

More and more it looks like coming home may not be the best option for my Dad's general health and safety. Ultimately it will be up to my Mom. It's a very trying and difficult decision. But I know she will do what is best for my Dad. And she will have all of our support each and every step of the way.