Sometimes You've Just Got to Get Mad

I'm a pretty mellow guy. Ask anyone.

I like things easy-going. My idea of a day off is lying on a beach somewhere, warming in the sun like some blood hound baking on a porch. I'm not much of a thrill-seeker, not much for amusement parks. Someone once asked me if I wanted to join them and jump out of a plane. Jump out of a what?!?!? Jeesh, just driving is plenty exciting for me. No thank you.

And I'm not much for temper, or arguing. It takes a lot to get me riled up. I have to feel like some great injustice is being done.

With cancer treatment, sometimes I have to get myself riled up. Sometimes I have to get things done, whether my body agrees with the gameplan or not.

Like with eating - I had really lost my appetite at the end of summer 2007 and I had to put my foot down and make eating start to happen again. And it did. I adjusted my mental perspective towards eating, planned the best times for me to eat, the best foods, and the best environments to eat in.

It wasn't easy by any means. I had to get a little mad and force some things. But eventually eating was natural and enjoyable again, and it's been that way ever since. I still continued to lose weight (?????????) but I was eating more than enough every day.

Now after babying my tummy and digestive track for the past week - it's time to get mad and make some things happen.

Chemo can really be a strange thing. I can't imagine that chemo spreads out evenly across the entire body each dose. It can't be that smart. So it probably concentrates in certain areas. Who knows where? It probably just heads for anywhere there's fast dividing cells.

This past week it's concentrated on my digestive track - and I've had enough. I've been nursing my sore abdomen and lower back. I've been spending too much time in the la-z-boy keeping the mid-section still. Now, forget it, I'm getting up and getting stuff done whether it feels like Mike Tyson used my belly as a set of bongos or not.

I'm getting mad at the chemo.

The mind can be a powerful thing. And I'm going to put it to work.