I Am Very Pretty

We typically plan out dinners two-weeks in advance. It's a guide, not a set-in stone menu. It helps me plan out meals that will hopefully put some pounds on me while being gentle on my digestive system. It also helps us make sure we pick-up the right stuff at the grocery store.

It seems to amaze my friends who stop by to see the two-week menu posted on the refrigerator. But when you've got the chemo going, you just can't wing it.

But last night we did decide to wing it. As I said the menu is just a guide, and something got traded with another day because of bad weather and a delayed trip to the store....so, we winged it.

We were going to walk down to the local pub and order take-out. But we quickly both agreed that it was way too cold for a couple block walk in the dark down the back alley to the pub. So we decided that we had to order from someone who would deliver.

Problem is, most delivery food has not gone real well for me. Pizza has not been real kind to me. And the one time I tried Chinese food during the past year I swore off Chinese food for the rest of my life.

But I suggested Chinese. A new Chinese place had opened in Mt. Joy and they left a menu in our doorway so we figured they delivered. I would not order from the Chinese restaurant in Columbia again. I've always maintained that it was the worst Chinese food I've ever had.

Barb approached this with trepidation. She knew I swore off Chinese forever. But I convinced her to let us give it a try. I've been a little bolder with variety of food lately, without much ill effect to the body.

Through the years it has become obvious to me that all Chinese restaurants in the U.S. answer to the same person or group. All the menus are exactly the same and they're all printed in red and green ink. I mean what are the chances?

It's like the mafia. Chinese immigrants are set-up with stores and than they must buy all the ingredients from the "boss," as well as line the boss's pockets with a portion of the proceeds.

Once at the Columbia Chinese restaurant I sat in the parking lot as Barb ran in to grab a bottle of wine. Suddenly a 7-series BMW pulled up in front of the restaurant. A very well dressed, and well polished Chinese man with Maryland license plates walked inside. In less than a minute he was on his way back out with a leather satchel - no food, just a leather satchel.

So we ordered Chinese from the new place in Mt. Joy. I went with Sesame Chicken, one of my past favorites.

The food arrived and to the surprise of Barb and I it was delicious. I loved it. The chicken actually looked like chicken, rather than mystery meat. Good sauce, covered in sesame seeds, nice broccoli, good old pork fried rice, it was hitting the spot.

Now I don't think anyone really ever finishes all their take-out Chinese food. They do give you so much. But I did make a major dent in mine, and the belly felt comfortably full.

We quickly cleaned up and then remembered the two fortune cookies on the kitchen counter.

Barb opened hers and it read "You are very creative and original."

She said, "I think I got your fortune."

"No," I argued. "You're very creative and original."

Then I opened mine. It read "You are very pretty."

OK. Maybe we did get them mixed up.