Buttocks

One thing that the past year has taken from me is my buttocks.

When I was losing weight, I don't know how, I don't know why, but it simply disappeared. You have my lower back, and you have my upper thighs, and there's nothing else. It's simply gone.

It seemed to happen in an instant. One day I got a glimpse of myself sideways in the mirror, and it was gone. Possibly it just fell off. But I figured I would have stumbled upon it around the house by now. It just disappeared.

Now when you spend the first 18-years of your life being run ragged by coaches with shrieking whistles and short tempers, it leaves you with the rear-end of a horse.

When I lived in Philadelphia a girl came up to me in the Empire Rock Club on Roosevelt Boulevard one night and said out of nowhere, "You've got a pretty nice butt for a white guy."

LOL

For once in my life I was speechless, and quickly slinked away.

They say you never know what you've got until someone or something takes it away. Well it's gone.

But at age 43 I know I'm not being run into the ground everyday by well-meaning coaches. So I guess the only thing that kept the derriere of some size was all the Doritos I used to eat.

I had a bowl of Doritos yesterday.