That Wasn't Supposed to Happen

Well so much for my luck changing. I learned yesterday, from the results of my brain MRI, that the cancer has returned to my brain.

That's not good.

I'm officially a mess. The cancer is now almost everywhere. It's in my brain, in my neck, in my lungs, in my liver, in my kidney, and in my bones. I don't have to explain to anyone that that is just not good at all.

I've always been a pretty big, dumb, guy who can take some hard knocks. And I'm taking these knocks, so far, in stride. Quite frankly, after all I've been through, nothing surprises me anymore, no bad news shocks me. Plus, I always knew the fate of kidney cancer patients whose cancer spreads - there is no cure.

My faith is very strong. My philosophy is simple - to make the most of every day until God calls me, and when he does I must go.

So until that moment I am still putting up a fight, even in the dire shape I am in.

You know you're not doing well when the doctor eagerly provides you with large bottles of pain pills.

The radiology doctor will consult with me on Friday morning. We'll discuss what can or cannot be done in the brain. I've had both spot Gamma Knife treatment to the brain, and whole brain radiation already. You can only have whole brain radiation once or it will damage your brain cells so bad you'd be left a vegetable. So the only possible option is the Gamma Knife. But that is rife with potential pitfalls too.

Monday my new chemo should arrive here at the house and I'll start taking it immediately.

I'm going to try to meet with my family doctor early this week so he can sample a portion of these lumps on my head and get them through pathology.

I'll also be looking to meet with my urologist to get his definitive opinion on what's going on in my remaining kidney.

And the week will wrap up with another pow-wow with my oncologist.

I'm going to keep fighting.