Somewhere In Between

Weeks ago I thought ahead to a day when I would feel "almost" normal. I figured there would probably come a day when I almost felt like my old self again - but not quite. And I figured that the "not quite" would be frustrating.

Well, that day is here.

I think back through the summer and what I've gone through, and there is no question that I feel much better now.

But, at the same time, I'm not exactly my old self yet either.

The radiation left my brain injured, like having a serious concussion, but worse. That is all so much better now, but not completely gone. A bit of "fog" is still there.

And it's frustrating, I'd like to kick that little leftover fog away.

This summer it was easy to practice patience. When you're so severely injured the choice to just simply rest seems rather obvious.

But now I'm starting to exercise and feeling more ready to get going and get some things done everyday. So it can be a little frustrating to still deal with the "fog" and the fatique from all of the medications. I think all my medications have a sticker that says "May cause drowsiness." Add all those up! lol

So now is the time when it is possible for me to overdue it, push a little too much, not be patient. But Barb often reminds me.

The last time I visited my family physician in describing something I said ". . . when I was trimming the trees in the backyard . . ." I'll never forget how large his eyes got the moment I said that, and then he smiled. Trimming trees probably wasn't something he felt I was up to yet.

I was never the smartest guy on the block, nor the most talented. But I give everything everything I've got.

One quick note - I continue to think that my oncologist appointment this week is on Wednesday and it's actually on Thursday. We'll probably call in for Monday's MRI results late Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday morning. I'm not sure if we're going to be able to interpret it without the doctor. We'll see.