Warrior Mode

When I first was diagnosed with cancer I met a gentleman online who had kidney cancer also and maintained his own blog. He was also in publishing and was an established outdoor writer and editor. He drew many others with this disease to his blog and he inspired many, including myself, to fight. He referred to everyone with kidney cancer as a warrior. He was in Georgia. We stayed in touch regularly. Eventually, sadly, he quietly passed away.

I've never forgotten his "warrior" term. It took a warrior, he would argue, to fight through this horrible disease.

I've always counted myself as one of those warriors.

I'm a pretty easy-going, very mellow guy. To me, anger or exciteability has just never seemed very productive. I see people, almost everyday, get so easily upset over some of the simplest things. It just leaves me scratching my head and wondering why.

As my treatment process has gone there have been plenty of highs and plenty of lows. It's the nature of the beast. It's difficult to know when a chemo stops working until bad things start happening in the body. As a "warrior" I'd just gather my strength and work the bad back into good.

But through the past few months, it hasn't been working that way. This warrior has been continuing to exert strength...but now I'm also starting to get ticked - ticked at cancer.

You can only get poked with a hot stick for so long before you stand up and say, "OK. Now listen. That's enough! Knock it off!"

I'm officially giving cancer fair warning - that's enough!

We are calling the big dogs in. An appointment has been made at Memorial Sloan-Kettering in New York City for this upcoming Monday. Sloan-Kettering is an entire hospital dedicated solely to cancer. The hope is that they may have some access to drugs that my oncologist may not. We still need to get them a copy of one medical report today. But otherwise the appointment is set.

We're going to travel to New York City on Sunday, stay overnight in a hotel, and then meet with the doctor on Monday, before returning home.

Barb and I are both anxious to see what comes from this consultation and are prepared to follow whatever course is recommended.

We'll make sure to wear our Phillies shirts. lol

Radiation has created a lump in the back of my throat making it virtually impossible to swallow and very sore when I do.

Radiation has created dry itchy skin on my chest.

Radiation has created a sour tummy.

Cancer has invaded a vertabrae, pinching nerves and leaving me in constant pain for months.

Pain pills create constipation. Radiation and Interferon injections created sleepiness.

This morning I woke up with an area of swollen, bleeding gums. Radiation also?

OK. What else do you have for me cancer? C'mon. Let's see what you've got. I'm ready. Give me your worst. I'm not giving up! LET'S GO!