Now What?

I always assumed that if I ran the gamut of available chemos I could go back to the beginning and start the circle of chemos all over again. But my oncologist will have none of that.

It's left me scratching my head and a bit confused.

He himself told me that it was a possible option, although he never committed to the idea. The kidney cancer specialist in Philadelphia also agreed it was a possibility.

Now what?

Speaking of the specialist in Philadelphia - he's gone. My oncologist learned that he accepted a strictly academic job at a big university somewhere. What gets me though, is that my oncologist just set-up an appointment for me at the University of Pennsylvania with no knowledge of who he might be sending me too.

Yesterday morning a doctor's secretary at Penn called me and scheduled an appointment. Then late yesterday afternoon the same lady called me to tell me the doctor did not feel experienced enough "to handle my diagnosis."

So, let's review. My oncologist blindly tried to send me to a doctor at Penn who is not very experienced?

(Banging head on table.)

Now what?

I know that if I am not on some type of chemo my cancer can be quite aggressive. I do feel it's significant to find somebody who is willing to put me on something, and fairly quickly.

Currently I do have injections of Interferon three times a week. But that is not a chemo. It is something that enhances the immune system, boosting the immune system up enough to rid the body of anything, including cancer, that doesn't belong there.

I think...I think...that my oncologist is convinced that revolving back to the first chemo I took years ago will not work, and he doesn't want to punish me with chemo side-effects with no results. But I'm not sure there is enough evidence to completely support that.

From my perspective, there's more harm in not trying, not taking that risk.

My oncologist is busier and busier and busier recently since he is also the director of the cancer center at Lancaster General. The word is that he's at a conference somewhere in Canada and turned his cell phone off. Not even the staff has been able to reach him.

So now what?

Well I've been debating my options and trying to decide what to do next.

I could...

...call my oncologist and beg and plead with him to give Nexavar (the first chemo I took) a chance.

...meet with my family doctor for his perspective and opinion, hoping that he may be able to refer me to an amazing kidney cancer specialist.

...travel to a leading cancer center like Sloan Kettering in New York City, or John Hopkins in Washington, D.C.

I've got some big decisions to make.

I am still a big, goof ball though. I am still smiling. My spirits are still high. I find no value you in negative emotions like being depressed or sad. I have no time or energy for that. It would be selfish and of no value.

(BIG HUG to everyone out there!)