Fashion

Now anybody who knows me well, knows that I'm probably the last person on Earth who should be writing about fashion.

I typically do not pay much attention to it. I'm not interested in dressing to impress. I want people to pay attention to what is inside of me, and hopefully they'll be impressed by my content and not my packaging.

My Dad was always suit and tie. He is color blind. So, a lot of the time he depended on my Mom to make sure he was picking out colors that went with one another. It was pretty humorous. After his morning shower he'd come out to the breakfast table, model his selection, and ask for my Mom's approval. Most of the time he'd be sent back to change this or that, which he did happily.

My Dad also never changed his style. Disco came and went but my Dad never chased whatever was fashionable at the time. He stayed with tried-and-true business suits and fashion would always come back to him.

My Mom, however, did follow fashion and often took it out on us kids. There was the famous lederhosen I had to wear to nursery school. There were silk scarves that somehow ended up around my neck for a couple class pictures. There was even a yellow leisure suit with a wild silk print shirt that I donned for Easter pictures.

I'm still in counseling for these early fashion events in my life, even though I did kinda' dig the yellow leisure suit.

I'm just all about function when it comes to clothes and not about form at all. I like jeans. I like shorts. I like polo and t-shirts. They're comfortable. They're rugged. They work for me quite well.

Now if I lived near the beach this outfit would fit right in. But living here in South Central Pennsylvania, I'm a little bit out of place. But that's OK with me. If people are going to judge me on what I wear rather than how I conduct myself, or what I have to contribute, well I don't really need those people.

I struggle to understand the suit and tie. If I wear a tie, it's only purpose seems to be a target for me to spill some soup on, or whatever I may be having for lunch. If I wore ties everyday I'd have to take out a personal loan to afford my dry cleaning bills.

I'm convinced that the suit coat was invented by wealthy, chubby, men who wanted something to help them look slimmer. The suit coat does that perfectly.

Once when I worked for a newspaper, a colleague of mine dressed very dapper everyday. I mean very, very dapper. He always wore a suit and a tie, with a formal fedora and trench coat. I finally broke down and asked him why he dressed up so much.

He told me he really appreciated the history of the tie, and how it came into being, and the significance it played.

I looked at him kind of strange I guess. Then I said, "Well...OK...but men used to wear powdered wigs and I don't see you wearing one of those."

He had no reply, which was probably good, because I don't think he was very fond of my comment.

We recently went out to eat, and Barb repeatedly asked me what I was going to wear, for days leading up to the event. I did fine, tan khakis with a button down polo shirt and penny loafers. It made me think back to my Dad seeking approval from my Mom each morning before work. Now here I was, seeking the approval of "management" before I went out for dinner.