I've always said - the worst thing for a marriage is a wedding.
Please understand, I'm a big, huge, giant supporter of marriage. There's nothing more significant to me than my marriage to Barb and our relationship. The wedding - well the wedding you can have.
And it's really not the basic, bare bones concept of the wedding that offends me. Actually the brief ceremony, the vows, the union before God and family, it's all good, real good.
But, for whatever reason, weddings are barely about the ceremony. It's a three ring circus. And everyone's worried about when the juggler arrives, when the lion tamer jumps in, and how we'll fit the equipment in for the trapeze act.
Ugh. To me, all the fanfare just distracts from what's important. Weddings become so big, so wild, so much pressure and stress embodies the bride and groom that their only thoughts can be "Please just get me through this day."
Alyssa, our daughter, and Charlie, our soon to be son-in-law, will be married in a matter of weeks. There has been lots of planning, lots of fanfare, lots to distract from the real meaning of a wedding. My most important gift to them both is simply this...forget about everything except what is most important, your commitment to one another, the love you share, and your coming together as one. It's certainly not all fun or easy...but nothing so valuable and so worthwhile ever is.
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I agree with you 100%. So much prepartion for the wedding and never enough for the marriage. I guess marriage is similar to parenthood. You start out with very little knowledge and hope you pick it up along the way. The values and important things that will make a marriage work were hopefully learned during childhood. But, enjoy the fun and fellowship when the big day arrives. Be there for them later when the realities of living as husband and wife bring on new challanges
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