The Fight Continues

I went for the ultra-sound of my abdomen yesterday. I could tell something was up just by the way the tech went about her business. She focused on a few areas quite a bit. But I knew something was going on with all the pain I've gone through the past month. It was just a matter of getting the doctors to take action and stop treating me like I'm nuts.

When the phone rang just two hours after the ultra-sound and the doctor said "Hello," on the other end - I knew I was in some trouble. The doctor never calls that fast unless there is some concern.

The doctor explained to me that the ultra-sound showed a "bright spot" on my liver. He said that the radiologist called it "fuzzy" and "indescript." But it was also noted at six centimeters, which is really large in size. The doctor felt that the size had to be wrong, especially since there was nothing there just two-months ago.

Well there was actually something there in March. It was a tiny, little dot. The radiologist report said it was so small that it was inmeasurable.

My theory is that when I went on half doses of chemotherapy April 8th, after consulting with the specialist in Philly, that the tiny, little dot in the liver started growing like a wild fire.

By April 29th the pain in my shoulder had moved to my right abdomen and right side and I decided it was time to go back on full doses of chemo. In the meantime I was trying in vain to have a doctor pay some attention to this.

Through May, now back on full chemo, the pains in my right side continued to lessen, more and more. Now I only rarely feel a twinge, no pain, and the lymph node that had swelled on the back of my neck has now shrunk to barely anything.

So, I'm not a doctor, but I play one on the internet. And I think that the cancer had already made its mark in the liver before I moved to half-doses, then grew out of control, before I went back to full-doses and the chemo attacked it and shrunk it.

That's the latest. It's not the news I wanted to hear. I just never wanted to hear about liver involvement in all of this. But then I never wanted to hear about brain involvement either and I managed to slosh through fighting that off.

So the fight will likely continue. I think we should all wait to hear Wednesday's CT scan results before jumping to any conclusions.

I told Barb yesterday that I'm not afraid to die, and it's true. But I do want to hang around, so I can hang around with her. I've been looking for her my whole life, and now I finally found her. It's not my intention to give up being with her very easily. And my family, my friends, such super people, I want to be around all of them for a long time too. And that is my plan.