Deep Questions

Over the past two-years our garbage men have mercilessly beat our garbage cans to a pulp. I try to make it easy on them. Everything's bagged in three large garbage bags, all are securely sealed. And it could be as easy as picking up a bag, then another, and another, without even lifting a garbage can.

But pick-up the garbage cans they do. And they beat them against the truck, throw them around to various locales. And I know it sounds silly, but from the look of these garbage cans, I'd say they may just be jumping up and down on them for fun too.

Jeesh.

I tried to save my garbage cans by only take large bags out for pick-up. But then one night a few local critters smelled something they liked in one bag and shred it open and spread it about the place. It was quite a clean-up for me the next morning. But I was half expecting it. We are a regular stop on a pair of Marietta skunks nomadic trail. So I quickly went back to setting out the garbage cans so the garbage men can start meticulously destroying them again.

The past summer has been especially rough on the poor garbage cans and it's obviously become time for some new ones. The handle has broken off one. Cracked holes have formed along the bodies of the cans. The cracked holes almost seem the perfect size of a boot.

Well I got the "boss" on board with the concept of purchasing new garbage cans, and she confirmed that the expenditure could be drawn from the January budget. We both agreed and planned a trip out soon to make the purchase.

I could tell Barb still had a thought stuck in her head though. Then suddenly she said, "How do you throw away an old trash can?"

Hmmmmm. I thought about it for a bit, and said, "I don't know."

If we just set the worn trash cans out would the garbage men take them with? Probably not, they're in the business of taking what's in trash cans, not the trash cans themselves.

If I wrote the garbage man a little note, like - "Please take this trash can with you. It is now trash after you've banged it, bumped it, kicked it and thrown it around for two years." It would have to be a big note, maybe with some pictures and a "LOOK HERE GARBAGE MAN" headline on it. Not too sure they would read it, or take the old trash cans.

It's almost like a George Carlin dilemna, one of those odd little juxtapositions in life, that makes you think and makes you laugh.

Maybe if I beat the old cans up even more, take a hedge trimmer to them, break them down into unusable pieces it will look enough like trash to be hauled away as trash.

But add that one to the ever-growing list of deep questions: "How do you throw away a garbage can?"