Still Fighting

I hate to say this, but Freckles sleeps around.

He sleeps downstairs. He sleeps upstairs. Eventually he sleeps on every piece of furniture in the house.

Typically he'll pick out a spot and regularly nap there for two or three days before he moves on to his next location. Sometimes he seems smart about it and picks out some of the most comfortable spots in the house. Sometimes he crams himself in a tiny space I can't even imagine what he's thinking.

But he gets around.

I don't get around too much. It wears me out. I like staying here in my "fortress of solitude," with my angel Barb always nearby, where I can control pace, pain, fatigue, stress, eating, exercise and medication, all those wonderful aspects of managing life on constant chemotherapy.

Chemotherapy amazes me. It is poison. It will destroy aspects of your body, wherever cells are reproducing rapidly. I told my oncologist recently that I do not have any pain that I think is directly attributable to cancer, and I don't have any major pain in general.

I have what I call "pain du jor," a random pain every day in a different part of the body. I like to theorize that it's caused by the chemo picking a fight with the cancer in a different area of the body every day. That's unlikely to be the reason. But it satisfies my cartoon-like perspective of medicine.

Chemo brings everything close to the surface, so to speak. I like to think that I've always been, literally, a pretty thick-skinned guy. I was always strong, tough, in good shape, could take pain (some would call that dumb). But chemo strips all the protective layers off and leaves you raw to the world.

My stomach has always been so strong it's ridiculous. I haven't had an upset stomach in at least 25-years before chemo. Now, well the 'ol tummy has been pretty upset two of the last three days.

It is the chemo. Cells reproduce faster along the digestive track than anywhere else in the body. Chemo can't differentiate between healthy cells and cancer cells. It just goes after all cells that are reproducing fast.

It is amazing what the human body can adapt to though. I naturally finding myself doing what I have to do to still make everyday as rewarding and special as the one before.

It is amazing what a certain perspective can bring to your life. Nothing is perfect. But everything is what you make of it.